


Close

by florahowell



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-04-06 17:04:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19066903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florahowell/pseuds/florahowell
Summary: When Mikasa is visited by an unexpected guest from her past, she forces herself to ignore her hard feelings and decides to help out the boy in trouble.





	1. Ambushed

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any thoughts about my work, please, don't hesitate to share them. I'm still learning as a writer, so I'm alwasy grateful for feedback.  
> Disclaimer: Some chapters may contain strong language.

“Alright, brats, that was disappointing,” Levi sighed as he casually dropped a smaller pile of reports onto the glass table in front of him. He took off his black suit jacket and draped it over the back of his chair – indicating that they’re not leaving his office anytime soon. “What the fuck went wrong this time?” 

Suddenly, everyone else in the room found something extremely interesting to look at and observe thoroughly, just to avoid the man’s questioning, grey eyes. Mikasa decided to look over Levi’s shoulder and escape into the view, that the floor-to-ceiling windows offered of the orange sunset over the business quarter of Eldia. For a couple of minutes, she managed to concentrate on the panorama, but Levi’s growing frustration wasn’t something easy to ignore. 

She was already considering to sacrifice herself and take the floor, but eventually, Connie was the first one to break under the man’s death-glare. “It was those masked freaks again, boss. We didn’t see them coming.” 

“Yes, they appeared out of nowhere,” nodded Sasha to support her teammate. “It happened so freakin’ fast, we hardly even moved and they were gone. We were-” she thought for a second to find the perfect expression, “AMBUSHED!” 

“Ambushed,” repeated Levi as he wearily rubbed his forehead. 

“Well, yeah,” groaned Jean after he managed to find his voice too. “They just broke into the warehouse and started shooting around. I tell you the freaks didn’t even care to aim.” 

“According to these, one of the customer’s bodyguards was hit,” Levi glanced at the pile of papers in front of him. 

“Only on the leg,” shrugged Jean. “It was probably an accident. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t the target.” 

“Nobody was,” agreed Armin. “Nobody and nothing. They didn’t kill anyone, didn’t take any of the drugs. Clearly, all they wanted was to interrupt the transaction.” “Yeah, just ran in and out like poisoned rats,” Jean interrupted again. “Four guys in all black, wearing those ridiculous cartoon-like animal masks. Just like last time.” 

“Exactly.” Levi casually put his hands into the pockets of his tailored trousers and walked to the other end of the table. He stood over his subordinate, looking down on him like he was staring at one of the aforementioned rats. “This whole thing happened before, so another attack was to be expected. You should have been more prepared.” 

Jean held his boss’ icy gaze bravely, a thin line of sweat rolling down his temple. “We were prepared! I was inside, as always, supervising the transaction. All the others were out, keeping watch. Connie was standing on guard by the only entrance, both Mikasa and Sasha were on the roof, and Armin had access to all security cameras – he basically saw more than God himself. We have no idea how they got in, it just seemed impossible to miss them.” 

“Still, you missed them.” Mikasa could tell that, in spite of the painfully apathetic expression on his face, Levi was pissed. That was the second time they got interrupted during a transaction that should have been a routine job. What is more, word had it they weren’t the only team having trouble with these masked figures lately. If the company wouldn’t be able to handle them soon, their dominance could be seriously weakened in the city, and some might utilize that situation. 

The Smith & Smith Co. – or as Eldians often called them the Smith family – had been monopolizing the black market of the area for almost five years. It became the most powerful organization in the city, after Erwin had either incorporated or whipped out all other bands and minor crime lords, previously fighting petty wars over small, insignificant chunks of territories. Everyone knew what was at stake for the company, as well as how Mr. Smith dealt with those who didn’t prove to be able enough to work for it. 

The room became silent again. 

“We’re sorry,” murmured Jean. “I mean, I am. I was in charge, I screwed it up. I’m sorry.” 

“That is just wonderful, Kirschtein, now I’ll go and put your sorry where I can actually use it: right up in my ass.” Levi didn’t raise his voice; he didn’t have to. His everyday manner of speech was more than intimidating alone, and it got straight away terrifying when it was thickened with anger. 

Jean was sweating intensely by now. Generally, he was good with words – that’s why he was the one who usually negotiated with customers –, but that superpower always seemed to fail him whenever it came to Levi. 

“What on Earth is he supposed to say now?” Mikasa came to her teammate’s rescue. “The damage is done. We screwed it up. We’ll be more cautious next time.” “This was next time,” spat Levi. “You’re supposed to be the fucking elite team of this fucking company. Now what the fuck should I say to Erwin; that you’re sorry? ‘Cause I tell you he won’t be too impressed by that.” 

Mikasa felt the urge to make a very inappropriate comment about that, but she resisted. She really wanted this day to end so that she could go home and forget about it, and she knew that they won’t be able to leave this sterile-looking office until they’ve listened to every single, enraged word Levi had to say. Hopefully, he also wanted to get over with this as fast as possible. 

“If I remember correctly, we had a ridiculously long meeting before that godforsaken mission this morning, discussing how to jump ahead of these bastards. Was I wasting my breath there?” Levi glared at the members of his team one by one, expecting an answer, but all of them kept their heads down. Even Jean swallowed his words. 

Levi kept up the tense silence for a while, but eventually got tired of his subordinates’ passive resistance. “Alright,” he sighed. “You’re lucky that I want to go home as well, so you’re dismissed for now. But you fucked up big time, so we’re not nearly over this. Stay online. And Mikasa-,” The girl turned around without a word as the others were racing each other to the door. “I’m taking you home.” 

“I’ll be fine, thank-,” she started, but he cut her short with a single gesture of his hand. 

“That wasn’t an offer.” 

So, Mikasa stopped and waited for him to organize the reports into files, put them away in the built-in office cabinet carefully, in strict alphabetical order, and arrange the chairs at the table in orderly, straight lines. Finally, he grabbed his suit jacket and took one more thorough look at the room to make sure he left it in proper condition, and they headed to the underground garage of the building. 

As the HQ was nearly empty by such a late hour, Levi’s black sedan was the only one occupying one of the spots reserved for the top management. Mikasa got in the not too flashy but obviously expensive car, and let go the idea of engaging her brother in a conversation even before he started the engine. 

Surprisingly, Levi didn’t seem to have the same plan. After they left the business quarter and were heading to Mikasa’s apartment in the southern part of the city, he turned the radio down and growled a silent “You okay?” to his sister. That was unusual. 

“Ohm, yes,” she muttered, confused. She didn’t know how to react to and what to expect from this sudden concern about her wellbeing. “And you?” 

“Fine.” 

Mikasa tried to read his expressions, but Levi’s face didn’t display any emotion. He was completely indifferent, his eyes firmly fixed on the road. She guessed her best chance to find out what he would like to say was to ask directly. “Is there anything you want to talk about in particular?” 

Levi hesitated for a moment. “Why do you ask?” 

“Well, you’re taking me home and asking how I am. I mean, don’t think I don’t appreciate the gesture, but this is not something you do very often.” 

“Are you trying to say that I’m a negligent brother?” 

“No, I’m trying to make you get to your point.” 

Levi heaved a weary sigh. “Okay, well, first of all, there should be nothing unusual in me giving you a lift home and asking you how you’ve been, but I haven’t slept in more than 36 hours, so I’m too tired to go down that rabbit hole right now.” 

“That’s probably a good idea,” Mikasa agreed. “So, which rabbit hole are we going down then?” 

“I just wanted to ask if everything was okay with you, that’s all – whether you’ve experienced anything strange around you lately, anything out of the ordinary.” 

“You know, it would be so much easier if you just told me what you want to know exactly.” Even though Mikasa had managed to get some sleep yesterday night before the mission, and probably was far from being so sleep-deprived as her brother, she wasn’t exactly fresh either. She didn’t have much patience for Levi’s ‘mysterious hot guy mode’ at the moment. “So, what is the real question here?” 

“Well, if you haven’t noticed, I already asked you a question, so it would be so much easier if you just answered it,” he said with slight irritation in his voice. Mikasa didn’t want to push him any further than that. “Okay, fine, no. Nothing out of the ordinary. Happy?” 

All she got was silence. She had no idea what made the man so bothered this time, but surely, it was neither his insomnia, nor just a messed-up mission. Those were two things he got used to long ago. What is more, even though Levi became irritated pretty easily, he usually didn’t get so distressed. His behavior made her feel uncomfortable. “We’re not the only team having problems with these masked men, are we?” 

“No.” 

“And you and the other higher-ups have absolutely no idea who they are or what they want, right?” 

Levi nodded curtly. “Right.” 

Mikasa was contemplating whether she should stop with the questions there, but her curiosity overcame her. “How long?” she asked carefully. 

Levi sighed and massaged his forehead. “They’ve been around for months now, interrupting more and more, important transactions.” 

A vague feeling of uneasiness started to swirl in Mikasa’s stomach. “I’m sorry about what happened on the mission. It wasn’t just Jean’s fault, you know. Sasha and I should have been more alert too.” 

“It doesn’t matter now.” 

“It’s pretty strange, though,” she started carefully. “We didn’t even hear form those guys on the missions last week. Our team was attacked during the only two transactions that weren’t supervised by you. I think they know you. They’re afraid of you.” 

“Yeah, well, they wouldn’t be alone with that,” said Levi. “But I can’t chaperon you guys on every fucking mission, you have to learn how to work alone.” 

“Where were you, anyway?” 

“Had some business to do,” he shrugged. 

Mikasa expected a way more aggressive response, so she continued. “Where?” 

Levi seemed too focused on the road now. “Here and there.” 

“You really don’t want to tell me, do you?” 

“No. I don’t want to, and I won’t.” 

“Alright,” she conceded, as the car slowed down in front of a white, four-story building in a quiet neighborhood. “Would you like to come up for dinner?” 

“You cooked?” He seemed genuinely surprised. 

“I have a whole pineapple in the fridge,” Mikasa admitted as she unfastened her seatbelt. 

Hearing his sister’s idea of dinner, Levi almost smiled. “Sounds great, but I have to go. I have somewhere to be.” 

“I though you wanted to sleep.” 

“Yeah, I’ll sleep too.” 

“Right. I assume you don’t want to tell me where that somewhere is, either.” She frowned and got out of the car. So much quality family time was more than enough for the day. “Sleep tight, then.” 

“Mikasa,” he called after her. “If anything strange happens, please, let me know.” 

“Don’t worry, I will,” she nodded and walked to the main entrance as he drove off. She entered the code and started searching for her keys, that were probably lying somewhere at the bottom of her backpack. She knew that her brother was probably trying to tell her something with his odd behavior, but she was too tired to decode the message. At the moment all she could think about were a hot bath and full-night sleep. She’ll worry about Levi’s behavior in the morning. 

She took the elevator to the fourth floor and kept searching for her keys in the dim light of the corridor, but as she got closer to the door, she realized that it was already open. She dropped her backpack and grabbed the knife from the holster attached to her leg above her right ankle. She wouldn’t want to wake the neighbors up with gunshots. 

She pushed the door slightly and glanced inside – nothing had been moved. She entered the apartment and scanned the dark hall. There was fresh blood on the beige carpet. She held her breath and turned right to follow the red drops to the living-room and on to the kitchen. A pool of blood was spreading from behind the counter. Mikasa carefully moved closer, her senses alert, ready for an attack at any moment, but when she saw the young man on the floor, grabbing what seemed to be an open wound on his side, she froze. 

For a second, she was sure she’d fallen asleep in Levi’s car, and what she saw was just a dream. She simply couldn’t make her brain process what she was looking at. “Eren?” she whispered, shocked.


	2. Deeper Wounds

_Three years earlier_

“Eren!” Mikasa reached the boy at the rusty gate of the cemetery. “Eren, please, wait!”

He stopped and heaved an impatient sigh. “What on Earth should I wait for? I sat through the whole fucking ceremony, I watched her being lowered into the ground, I listened to everyone’s fake words. I went through with the whole thing so that you didn’t have to do it alone. It’s done. Now I want to go.” The calmness he was trying to force on his voice freaked Mikasa out. 

“Please, don’t say that.” She shook her head. “A lot of people showed up today to express their condolences, and they weren’t fake – well, definitely not all of them.”

“Yeah, I’m sure all suits of the company are terribly sorry that my mother is gone.” He jerked his head towards the black crowd swarming around the fresh pile of flowers on Carla’s grave. “Most of them didn’t even know her. I have no idea why they had to be here.”

“They came to offer you their help.”

“Help?” Eren spat, disgusted.

“Yes. Believe it or not, Mr. Smith and the other members of the management are here to show you that you’re not alone. The company supports you, just like it supported your mother after your father left.” 

“You mean after he was exiled. After _they_ sent him away.”

Mikasa immediately felt stupid for bringing up Dr. Jäger. Generally, his father’s name alone was enough to upset Eren – she shouldn’t have mentioned him right after Carla’s funeral. “I’m not having this conversation again. We don’t know why your father had to leave the city, it’s…”

“It’s confidential, I know. I’ve heard that shitty excuse a thousand times already and still can’t believe that you’re able to accept it just like that. You were there, Mikasa. You saw what happened. We both witnessed how Smith forced dad to leave from one day to another without any explanation. You saw what that whole story did to mom; how it eventually drove her to death. That fucking company destroyed my family – our family. And now you’re telling me that I should accept their fucking support and be grateful for it?”

“Yes,” Mikasa nodded. “You can’t undo what happened to yo- to our family – no one can, but you have plenty of decisions to make that affect your future. Please, just try to think, Eren. There’s no way to have an adequate life in Eldia without Smith’s support.”

“I don’t want to have any kind of life in Eldia. I want to leave this shithole place behind as soon as possible and find my father,” Eren gritted. “As far as I know I don’t owe those bastards anything. I’m free to leave.”

“Yes, but you know the rules. Once you quit there’s no way back. You won’t be allowed to set foot to any of the company’s territories again. Not ever.” Mikasa’s voice was getting thickened with fear. The thought of not being allowed to see Eren anymore spread panic through her whole body. 

“Yeah, well that’s the plan.” Eren shrugged as he put both hands in his pockets and looked away, avoiding the girl’s eyes carefully. She remembered how he used to take the exact same posture whenever his mother scolded him – it meant that he felt guilty. 

“Is there really nothing here you would stay for?” Mikasa took a step towards him.

Eren winced and heaved a painful sigh. “I’m sorry that I have to leave you, if that’s what you’re aiming at. But you don’t need me here anymore. You’ll be perfectly safe with Levi. I know he’ll take care of you.”

“Yeah, because Levi is famous for being such a caring person,” she frowned.

The boy’s eyes were fixed on the ground. “He’s your brother,” he muttered. “You can finally live with your real family.”

“You’re my real family,” she grabbed his wrist and forced him to face her. “You and your mother.”

“Yeah, well, my mother is dead,” said Eren silently, his wide, green eyes boring into hers. “My mother is dead.”

“Eren, please,” Mikasa felt tears welling up in her eyes, “I want you to stay.”

Eren wrested his arm from her grip. He wasn’t even trying to conceal his anger anymore. “There’s no way I’m staying in this godforsaken city to keep doing Erwin’s dirty work. I’m not becoming another one of his mindless puppets like your brother. Or you.”

Every single word leaving the boy’s mouth felt like a punch in Mikasa’s stomach. “But what if you change your mind later? What if you decide to come back?” she asked silently.

“That won’t happen. There’s no way I’m coming back here. I’m leaving today for good, and after that I won’t be allowed to cross the borders of this city ever again. You’ve just said it yourself.”

“Eren,” she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Can I come with you? Please?”

He turned his back. “No. No, you can’t. Goodbye, Mikasa. I’m gonna’ miss you.”

*

_Nowadays_

“What the fuck?” Mikasa muttered as she rushed to the boy. The moment she saw him sitting on the floor with his back against the kitchen counter she was sure that he was dead, but as she got closer, he slowly turned his head to face her. He didn’t seem much more alive like that either, but at least he was still moving. He had a cut lower lip, two black eyes, and his face was battered and covered in blood. The otherwise white dishcloth that he was pressing against the open wound right under his left rib already got completely red.

“I’m sorry, Mikasa,” he whispered. “I didn’t know anywhere else to go.”

“Oh my God, Eren!” The girl swallowed her tears. She pulled herself together as fast as she could and reached for the first aid kit under the sink. She was dying to know what on Earth the boy had gotten himself into, but for now she tried to repress her curiosity and concentrate on keeping him alive. She washed her hands and removed the soaked cloth from Eren’s hand carefully. “Please, tell me you didn’t get shot.”

“Just stabbed,” he moaned, his voice hoarse. 

“Maybe we should call Hange,” she frowned. “It seems quite deep.”

“Yeah, it feels quite deep too.” He coughed up a short, bitter laugh. “But… no Hange. Please.”

“Fine.” Mikasa nodded and swallowed past the lump in her throat. She reached for a clean dishcloth, folded it, and placed it between the boy’s teeth. She started to clean the wound, trying to ignore his muffled cries and his nails digging into her upper arm. She stitched and bound the wound as professionally as she could and hoped for the best. “Alright, you should be fine for now, but don’t move around too much.”

“Thank you,” he moaned as he removed the cloth from his mouth, and flashed a painful, bloody grin at her. 

“What the fuck happened to you?” she asked as she washed his face and started to tend to his smaller wounds as well. “What are you doing here?”

“Could you please point me to the bathroom?” He asked like he hadn’t heard her questions. “I could use a bath.”

Mikasa shook her head and helped him up. “No bath. But yeah, sure, go and wash up.” To her surprise the boy was able to walk with some help. She left him in the bathroom and went to the bedroom to dig up some clothes for him from the bottom of her closet. It took her a while until she found what she was looking for. “There you go,” she said as she handed him a clean towel and put a clean shirt and a pair of sweatpants next to the sink.

“Oh.” He dried his now less bloody face and raised his brows slightly as he recognized the clothes. “You have a box on the attic saying ‘the bastard’s old stuff’, or what?”

“Something like that,” the girl sighed and massaged her temples. She was still processing what had happened in the past hour. On the one hand she was happy that Levi refused her invitation for dinner, because he probably wouldn’t have been particularly thrilled about Eren’s sudden return, but on the other hand she could use someone to confirm that she was not the only one seeing the boy in her bathroom at that moment. She slowly looked him up and down. “How are you feeling?”

“Everything fucking hurts, but I’m alive,” he snorted as he tried to put on the clean clothes with as little movement as possible. “Thanks again. Honestly, I thought you will be more pissed seeing me here. I even expected some extra punches.”

“I’m still in shock,” muttered Mikasa as she fetched a box of matches from the kitchen without thinking, reached for the boy’s bloody clothes with an automatic movement, threw them into the toilet and burned them. “I didn’t have much sleep in the last couple of weeks, so I’m only around eighty percent sure that you’re actually here.”

“Having some rough time?” He turned to her and tilted his head slightly.

“I think I should be the one asking you that question.” Mikasa took the boy’s arm to help him get to the bedroom. Now that she was getting over the first shock, a strange feeling came over her. The fact that she was touching and holding Eren almost made her cry. Throughout the years she gradually managed to repress the pain caused by the boy’s absence, but now that he returned it was all coming back. Being so close to him and seeing how much he’s changed since she last saw him made her realize how long they’d been apart. 

Even though he had been away only for three years, he looked way older than twenty. He got taller and much more muscular. His dark hair was so long that it fell just to his shoulders, and a light stubble covered his chin. He even got a tattoo on his chest. “Yeah, you’re right,” he nodded as he lowered himself onto the bed carefully.  
“So, what happened?” she asked as she sat down next to him. 

“I was attacked.”

“I’ve figured that much out,” she nodded. “Who attacked you? And why?”

“Some guys that I met when I was looking for my father.”

The mention of Dr. Jäger was like a slap on Mikasa’s face. She almost forgot what was Eren’s reason for leaving in the first place. “Did you find him?”

He nodded. “He’s dead.”

“Oh.” The girl looked down on Eren’s hand hesitantly. Her first instinct was to reach out and grab it, but she changed her mind. She glanced back up at him. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.” A dry half-smile appeared on his lips. “I found his grave in Marley.”

“In Marley?” she frowned. “That city is like 20 miles to the East from here. Did it take you three years to find him there?”

“No, of course not. I figured out pretty soon that he’s there – I mean, that he was there. But I wasn’t allowed to come back here, was I? So, I stayed and tried to find out as much as I could about his life there.”

Mikasa “And what did you find out?”

“Not much,” he shrugged, but probably regretted the movement immediately. He clutched his wound and continued in a pained tone. “He got a pretty, small house. He lived with a woman.”

“Really?” The girl was genuinely surprised. She couldn’t imagine Dr. Jäger being with anyone else but Carla. “Did you talk to her? The woman he lived with?”

“I wanted to, but she was in no condition to speak.” Eren shook his head. “She’s in a mental asylum, went completely nuts after dad’s death.”

“Wow.” Her eyes widened. Eren’s story was getting more and more peculiar and concerning. 

“Yeah.”

“Did you find out what happened to your dad?”

He nodded grimly. “Apparently, he committed suicide.”

“What?”

“That’s what the official reports say, anyway,” his voice got irritated. “He was working for some gang – a very similar one to the Smith company as I understood –, and one day he was found dead in his lab. He swallowed some rat poison.”

“That wasn’t suicide.” Mikasa was shaking her head, horrified.

“I know. That’s why I stayed. I was trying to find out what happened to him, but I still don’t have any useful information. All I did was getting myself into trouble in the process.”

Mikasa wasn’t slightly surprised to hear that. “You mean those guys who beat you up? Do they work for that Marlean gang?”

“Not directly, but yes. They want me to find some of my dad’s old notes, but I haven’t managed to deliver them for a while now. So, they tried to speed up the process by showing me what happens if I fail.”

“Notes about what?”

“I have absolutely no idea. They say it’s about some kind of weapon,” Eren sighed wearily. “I was looking for them everywhere – in his lab, his office, his old house –, but all I found was a key with a tag saying BASEMENT-J845. I’m positive that they’re somewhere here in Elida. My guess is that Smith has them in the company’s archives in the basement of HQ.”

“Why would Erwin keep your dad’s old notes?”

Eren flinched at the mention of the man’s name but said nothing about him. “I have no idea, but this is my last shot. I need those notes, or else I’m dead. As you can see, I’m running out of time.”

“So, that’s why you’re back. You need those notes from Erwin.”

Eren nodded.

“Have you lost your mind?” she snapped at him. “Erwin’s going to kill you! You left, Eren! You quit! I told you: once you’re out, you can’t come back. I was begging you not to leave, but you told me that you won’t come back ever. EVER! So, now…”

“MIKASA!” Eren grabbed her hand firmly, ignoring the pain the sudden movement probably gave him. “Mikasa, I know. I’m sorry for coming here, it wasn’t the plan. I just wanted to search Smith’s archives and leave. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to drag you into this.”

“Alright.” She took a deep breath to calm herself. This whole thing was a lot to take in, especially in the sleep-deprived state she was in by now. “You’re right. You should have some rest.”

Eren was looking at her like one looks at a timebomb. 

“You should sleep, and tomorrow we’re going to figure out how to handle the situation,” she massaged her forehead and wanted to stand up, but the boy tightened his grip around her wrist.

“Mikasa,” he shook his head slightly. “ _We_ don’t have to figure out anything. I’m very grateful for what you’ve done for me today, but I promise I won’t cause you any more trouble. I’ll leave as soon as I can, and you won’t see me ever again.”

“Yeah, right until your funeral – if there’s going to be one at all,” she rolled her eyes. “I see you didn’t get much smarter in the past few years. There’s no way you can just go and search for those files in the HQ without being caught. And do you really think that Erwin won’t find out that you’re here? You know he has eyes everywhere in this city, I wouldn’t be surprised if he already knew about your return.”

“But…” he started, but she cut him short.

“I’m not finished yet,” she shot him a glare.

“I’m sorry,” he swallowed. 

“No, you won’t be able to let me out of this anymore. You’ll have some sleep now, and tomorrow we’re going to discuss how to explain your return to Erwin and get those notes from the company.”

“But what if…”

“There’s no what if. Those files won’t be in any worst hands with those other gangsters than they’re with Erwin now. We’re going to find them, give them to your new friends, and that’s it. You can go back to Marley or wherever you want to in peace and alive.”

“Mikasa…” he tried again.

“Can you sleep now? Please?”


	3. Paranoia

It was already past noon when the sound of her ringing phone woke Mikasa up. She was lying across the bed, still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. She probably passed out soon after Eren had fallen asleep. She looked up to see if the boy’s alright, but he was nowhere. The world started spinning around her as she sat up to the sudden realization. As she was still blinking the sleep out of her eyes, she saw a small, silver key glint on the bedside table. She hastily put it into her pocket, reached for her phone and picked it up. “Yeah?” she moaned as she struggled to her feet. 

“Hey, what took you so long?” Levi’s annoyed voice invaded her ear. 

“I was sleeping,” she muttered as she headed to the door and started to go from room to room, searching for the boy with growing tension in her stomach.

“It’s almost fucking one in the afternoon,” the man sighed. He sounded even more irritated than usual. “I told you brats to stay alert. Anyway, get yourself together and come into the office.”

“Like, right now?” She stopped in the kitchen and leaned against the counter, staring at the bloody floor. “Can’t it wait?”

“No,” came the short answer. “You have half an hour to get here. See you.”

Mikasa heaved a weary sigh and massaged her forehead with one hand, while holding onto the counter with the other. She just realized that she was probably unable to stand without the support of her furniture, because she hadn’t eaten anything for more than a day now. She quickly chopped up the pineapple that was the only edible thing in the fridge, shoved some slices into her mouth, and reached for the cleaning supplies under the sink to get rid of the already dry blood. She couldn’t leave the apartment with a huge bloodstain on her kitchen floor after all. 

She wasn’t sure if she made it to the office within the prescribed half an hour, but she didn’t care much. She just wanted to get over with this as fast as possible, so that she can go and look for Eren. On her way to Levi’s office she was trying to remain calm and convince herself that she can find the boy before he ends up in a body bag at the bottom of the river.

As she was about to enter the room the familiar smell of her brother’s favorite hard-surface cleaner filled her nose. She composed her face once again and braced herself for the conversation, but at the moment she stepped into the sterile-looking office her first instinct was to turn around and leave the building right away. Erwin was sitting in one of the chairs facing Levi’s desk. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll just come back later,” Mikasa made a weak attempt to escape, but the men stopped her.  
“You’re not interrupting anything, Miss Ackerman,” said Erwin. “Actually, we were waiting for you.”

She sighed and closed the door behind her, then, as slowly as she could, walked closer and took a seat next to Erwin. The man was sitting there in all his grace; with a glass of light bourbon in his hand, one leg casually crossed over the other, his face completely indifferent. His short, blonde hair was neatly combed to the left as always, and he was wearing the most expensive suit Mikasa had seen this month. He stirred the amber liquid in his glass slightly, as he set his bright blue eyes at the girl and flashed her a polite, slight half-smile.

Mikasa resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and turned to Levi instead. “You wanted to see me,” she murmured. She was praying that this whole meeting was only about yeasterday’s failed mission. 

“Yes.” The man nodded. He glanced at Erwin, but their boss remained silent, keeping up his calm, neutral expression. Still, Levi seemed to understand what he wanted him to say. Mikasa was sure that over many years of working together they had already developed a special, silent form of communication nobody else could understand. “Yesterday I asked you to report immediately if you experience anything unusual.”

Mikasa nodded silently. She felt panic starting to swirl up in her stomach.

“Well?” He raised an eyebrow.

She frowned, trying to conceal her growing distress. “Well what?”

“Have you experienced anything unusual?”

The girl closed her eyes and heaved a spectacularly deep sigh. She glanced at her brother, then at Mr. Smith, and shook her head. “How stupid do you think I am? You found Eren, didn’t you?”

“We did.” Erwin nodded. “According to our sources he left your apartment early this morning.”

“Well, as always, your sources are right, sir.” Mikasa couldn’t keep the anger out of her voice.

“And don’t you think that the sudden appearance of your prodigal stepbrother counts as something unusual? Especially if he shows up at your apartment in the middle of the night, all beaten up with a stab wound in his side.” Levi looked at her sister like he wanted to slap her. Possibly, that was indeed what he wanted to do.

“I wouldn’t say there’s anything unusual in Eren being all beaten up or having a stab wound.” Mikasa shrugged. 

“Mikasa, you’re really testing my patience here,” Levi raised his voice slightly, but Erwin silenced him with a hand gesture. 

“Miss Ackerman, would you please tell us what happened exactly before Mr. Jäger left your apartment today in the morning?”

“Where is he now? Is he alright?” she answered the question with her own set of questions.  
Even though Erwin was also irritated by the girl’s attitude for sure, he seemed to remain perfectly calm. “I promise I’ll answer your questions once you answered mine.”  
“Alright.” She glared at him. “When I got home yesterday, I found Eren unconscious on my kitchen floor. I have no idea how he found my apartment or got in. All I know is that he had been beaten up badly and lost a lot of blood. So, I stitched his wound and put him to bed. I tried to keep him alive. By the time I woke up in the morning, he was gone. I didn’t realize when he woke up and left. I was pretty tired myself. That’s it.”

Erwin nodded. “I see. I understand he was unconscious the whole time.”

“Yes,” lied Mikasa. 

Erwin took a sip from the crystal glass he was holding in his right hand. “So, you couldn’t talk to him. You don’t know when or how he got back in town, or what he’d done before he returned.”

The girl shook her head, and hoped that Levi wouldn’t realize she was lying. 

“Did you talk to him since he left Eldia? Were you two in any kind of contact in the past three years?”

“No. I haven’t heard a thing from him since Carla’s funeral.”

Erwin looked at Levi, and they probably agreed telepathically to believe her, because he turned back to the girl and acknowledged her story with a single, subtle nod. “Well, Mr. Jäger is in the hospital wing right now. His injuries had to be treated a bit more… professionally, but he’ll live. You can even take him home to recover, if you want to. He’s already been questioned about his reasons for returning.”

Mikasa was relieved to a certain extent. While she was sure that most of the injuries that had to be treated so professionally were the result of the interrogation, at least Eren was alive, and seen by real doctors this time. “What did he say? What happened to him?”

“So, you don’t know?” Erwin raised a thick eyebrow. 

“No, I don’t. I’ve just told you.” The girl tried to put all her acting skills to use. The man probably wanted to make her repeat herself, so that he could study her again, and find out whether she was telling the truth or not. Apparently, she didn’t convince them completely for the first time. “We didn’t speak a word. As I told you, he was completely unconscious from the time I found him.”

“He claims that he regrets leaving and wants to work for the company again. He also mentioned you as one of his main reasons for coming back.”

_‘That fucking bastard,’_ Mikasa thought. She needed all her willpower to exile the man’s last sentence to the back of her mind for now. “This is great, but it doesn’t explain why and how he was stabbed. Or were you not interested in such a triviality in the course of the interrogation?”

Erwin seemingly continued to ignore the girl’s tone and continued: “He says he was attacked by unidentified masked men soon after he arrived in the city. His original plan was to come here to HQ first, but he thought he was going to die of his injuries. He went to your place to apologize for leaving you before it’s too late.”

Mikasa felt her stomach turn. So, Eren wasn’t as stupid as he used to be after all. She swallowed the lump in her throat and looked up at Erwin with her most broken expression possible. “So, what’s going to happen to him now?’ she asked silently. “He shouldn’t have come back, but you didn’t eliminate him. Why?”

Erwin glanced down at the liquor in his glass. “Honestly, what happened to him made me feel guilty.” Mikasa seriously doubted that but let him go on. “He left because I chased his father away. Don’t misunderstand me, I had my fair reasons to do so, but I couldn’t share them with him. Unfortunately, I still can’t. Therefore, I understand he felt he had to go and find out more about what happened to Grisha.”

The girl resisted the urge to punch her boss in the face and silently nodded. “What does that mean exactly?” she asked, trying to keep her voice calm.

“Well, he can stay in the city. He can even return to his old position and work for the company again, when he’s better. He’s going to be under Levi’s supervision.”  
“I see,” the girl nodded again.

“But for a time, he’s still on probation. Even though everything he told us about the past few years and the circumstances of his return appears to be true, we cannot let our guard down. People who leave the company are normally prohibited from coming back for a reason. His loyalty to us could have been compromised. That’s why your whole team have to be alert. Especially you, Miss Ackerman. Being the main motivation for Mr. Jäger to return, you are going to spend a great deal of time with him, I suppose. You’ll have a chance to keep an eye on him.”

As Erwin kept talking, it was more and more difficult for Mikasa to keep herself under control. “I’m not going to spy on him if that’s what you’re hinting at.” She didn’t juat want to punch him anymore. She wished she could throw his bourbon in his face alongside the glass and tell him how disgusting he was. First, he had chased Grisha away for some mysterious reason he still wasn’t willing to share. Then, he didn’t say a word when Eren decided to track his father down, however, he most definitely knew about his death – no way he hadn’t been keeping watch on Dr. Jäger. And now that Eren was back, he was posing as the almighty angel of mercy tainted by guilt, trying to atone by letting the boy live and welcoming him back to the company, while he obviously had his selfish, manipulative reasons to do so. 

“I’m not asking you to spy on him, just be alert. That’s all.” Erwin was completely unbothered by the girl’s death-glare. “Like your brother said earlier, report if you experience anything unusual.”

“What exactly would you define as unusual?”

“I trust your judgement with that.”

“Fine,” she said. “Can I see him now?”

“Of course.” The man stood up and put his empty glass on Levi’s table, making the man slightly flinch. “But I’m afraid your brother also wants a word with you.”  
Levi nodded and put the glass away.

“I’ll take my leave then.” 

Levi didn’t turn to Mikasa until the door closed behind Erwin. “I thought you’ll strangle him with your bare hands.” He casually took his place at the table again.  
“I want to see Eren.”

“We’ll go and see him soon. He’s fine, don’t worry. I just have a couple more questions.” The girl was now sure that he didn’t believe a word she said.

“I think I already answered all your stupid questions.” She hoped her brother didn’t realize that her voice was slightly shaking. She desperately wanted to leave that office. 

“Why did you lie to Erwin?” he asked like he was just starting a nice conversation about the weather. 

She looked him straight in the eye. “I didn’t.” 

Levi rolled his eyes and heaved a deep, annoyed sigh. “Look, I know that you and Jäger are pretty close, and you trust him unconditionally for some reason, but he was gone for a very long time. He probably changed a lot. He can be a completely different person now than the one you used to know.”

“Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think a didn’t realize when he left me here? He might have changed, but I did too! I’m not that seventeen-year-old girl, who was obsessed with him and did anything for him without thinking. I’m not that stupid anymore! I’m not covering for him or anything. I just want to see if he’s-”

“Could you kill him if it was necessary?” Levi interrupted casually. 

Mikasa looked at his brother like he lost his mind. “Why on Earth would I want kill him?”

“Mikasa, do you know why people who work for the company can’t come back once they leave the city?”

“Because Erwin’s twisted system doesn’t cover the whole globe, and the paranoiac voices in his head tell him that every single person he can’t supervise completely is a possible threat?”

“Erwin’s paranoia has brought him a long way.”

“I don’t think he has to be afraid of Eren. But as I promised, I’ll keep an eye on him.” She tried to be more convincing than she was earlier. “But, Levi, I know he can be trusted, I do.”

“Fine,” Levi sighed. “I still think you didn’t tell us everything, but if I were you, you wouldn’t be able to get out of me more than that either. So, for now I’ll let you be.”

Mikasa remained silent.

“But he's going to be under my supervision.” His icy gray eyes flashed. “And unlike you, little sister, I won’t hesitate a second to kill him if I have to.”


	4. Found and Lost

_Eleven years earlier_

“Dr. Jäger, just in time,” Shadis nodded as the man entered the ruined building. “I’m glad you could make it, but I don’t think you’ll have too much to do.”

“Yes, I see you and your team have been quite thorough,” Grisha said as he looked around the crowded room, a cleaning team taking care of the dead bodies lying on the floor. “Was the order to kill them all?”

“Well, all who resist, yeah,” Shadis shrugged. “You know that the Lovof family refused to sign the contract with Erwin several times. They were against his regulations about prostitution in the city. I think he’s had enough. We’ve eliminated all of their illegal brothels; this was the last one.”

“Lovof and his men?” Dr. Jäger asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“Some fled, but most of them are dead,” the man answered casually, like they were just chatting about the weather. 

“And what about the staff?”

Shadis lit a cigarette slowly. “Unfortunately, some of them has been caught in the shooting, but the surviving will be employed by the company’s facilities – as soon as they pledge allegiance to us.”

Grisha nodded. “So, is there anyone with serious injuries?”

“Some bruises and broken noses here and there, but generally our men are doing more than fine. One of the girls have been shot, though. I don’t think there’s much chance for her to survive, but you could take a look at her if you want to.” The man jerked his bald head towards an open door at the beginning of the corridor. 

“I’ll see what I can do.” Dr. Jäger put his mask on and entered the small, overly decorated room. He stepped to the king-size bed, that dominated half of the place, and looked down on the blood-soaked, red sheets. He tried to feel the woman’s pulse, but he had already known there was none. 

“I’m sorry doc,” one of Shadis’ man spoke up. “We tried our best not to hit any of the staff. I don’t know how this happened. We wanted to stop the bleeding, but I guess we got to her too late.”

“It’s okay, you did everything you could.” Grisha closed the victim’s dark-brown, monolid eyes gently. “She was hit on the chest, it’s a miracle she didn’t die right away. Make sure she’s buried properly and inform her family if she has any.”

“Ohm, what about the little girl?” the man asked hesitantly.

“What girl?” the doctor looked up, confused.

“She has a daughter. She’s been waiting in the next room. A small girl, around nine, but a pretty tough one. She tried to fight us when we got to her mom. She even broke Nile’s nose, I think.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Grisha nodded. The last thing he wanted to do at that moment was to tell a nine-year-old child that her mother is gone, but he thought it was rather him than any other man there. 

He stepped out of the room and took a deep breath. He removed his facemask and followed the man silently to the next, even tinier room on the long corridor. As he was about to enter, he was sure that he’d braced himself for anything he would see there, but he was wrong. His eyes widened as he saw the little girl, sitting on one of the uncomfortable, black plastic chairs in the far-left corner. “Mikasa?” He recognized his son’s classmate. “What on Earth are you doing here? Where’s your brother?”

The little girl’s black eyes remained fixated on the ground. “I don’t know,” she shook her head. “He left a while ago.”

“I see.” Dr. Jäger carefully walked closer and crouched to face her. “Now, do you remember me?”

She nodded. “You’re Eren’s dad,” she said, her voice thin and silent. 

“Yes.” He tried to keep his voice clear and calm. “You’re going to spend the rest of the night in our house. It’ll be like a sleepover. What do you say?”

“She’s dead, isn’t she?” The little girl hesitated for a while and looked up at him. “I heard them say that she was going to die.”

“Of course, you did,” Grisha sighed and stood up. He didn’t want to spend any more time at that rotten place. He took Mikasa’s hand a led her to the exit. “The girl is staying with me and Carla,” he said to Shadis as they were leaving the building. “I suppose you can handle the rest without me.”

*

_Nowadays_

As soon as they arrived at Mikasa’s apartment, the girl dragged Eren into the bathroom and turned the taps on. “What the fuck were you thinking?” She turned to him, hands on her hips, the furious look in her eyes close to a Levi-level of intimidation. 

“I’m sorry,” Eren murmured, looking down. “I know I scared you, but I had to keep searching for my dad’s notes. I have to find them as fast as possible.”

“And you thought you can just walk into HQ and search for some top-secret files without getting caught? Were you out of your goddamn mind?” Mikasa’s voice was shaking with anger, but she was trying to keep it down.

“No, of course not. But as you said yourself there was no way that Smith didn’t know about me being here already. You were right, I wasn’t thinking straight when I came to your place yesterday. I didn’t want you to get into trouble because of my thoughtlessness. I had to fix my mistake.”

The girl was staring at him, startled, holding her breath. “You’re not telling me that you got caught on purpose, just so I won’t have any problems with Smith, are you?”

“Well, if I stay here long enough, they would have noticed me anyway sooner or later. So, I thought I would get over with the interrogation. And I’m glad I was thinking like that. He took me back to the company, so now I have a way better chance to get down to the archives.”

“BUT YOU COULDN’T POSSIBLY KNOW THAT,” Mikasa snapped. She took a deep breath to calm herself a bit and sat down to the edge of the bathtub. “I would say that it was your stupidest decision this week for sure, but it’s only Wednesday, and I have the feeling that you’re going to beat that.”

Eren casted his eyes down like a little boy who’s just got scolded by his mother. He put his hands in the pockets of his jeans and tilted his head. “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have just disappeared without a word.”

Mikasa closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. As her anger was slowly fading, she started to feel how exhausted she was. In the past three years she almost forgot how tiring it was to worry about Eren’s safety constantly.

“Have you thought about telling them the truth?” she asked silently after a moment’s thought. “Just tell Erwin what those guys from Marley want and let him handle them for you. Now that you’re officially welcome back to the company, he should protect you like any other member, right?”

He shook his head. “Don’t forget that I’m still on fucking probation, or how he calls it. I don’t think he would be too happy to find out I have anything to do with the Marlean gang that my dad worked for in his exile.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Mikasa muttered. “So, you’re still looking for those notes.”

Eren nodded. 

“And what if you find them?” She looked up at him. “You find the notes, give them to the bad guys, and then what? Are you staying here?”

The boy furrowed his brows and stepped closer to her. “Mikasa,” he started hesitantly and swallowed. “Look, Mikasa, it would be great to stay here with you, but if this whole thing is over, I think I’ll have to go back to Marley.”

“Why?” She was shaking her head, confused. “Are you going to work for that Marlean gang or what?”

“What? No. No! Of course not,” said Eren. “I’m not going to work for anyone. I just want to go back and find out what happened to my father. I have to know how he really died.”

“Do you?” thought the girl, but she swallowed the question. “So, for now you’re just staying here and pretending to work for Erwin until you can flee again.”

“Well, I’m not really much use for the company right now. I’ll just find the notes while I’m still on probation and leave before I have to do any dirty work for Smith. I know how that sounds, but I don’t really have any other choice here. I mean, if I don’t find those files soon, I’m not making it until the end of the probation period anyway.”

Mikasa swallowed to overcome the sudden tightness in her throat. She was trying to process she was about to lose the boy again, one way or another. She had to accept that he wanted to go back to Marley and continue the investigation of Grisha’s death, especially that that was the better option for the whole fucked-up story to end. She reached into her pocket to get the key he left on her bed in the morning and held it out to him. “I think you’ve lost this.”

The boy nodded. His calm, green eyes were fixed on the small, silver object, but he didn’t reach for it. “I didn’t want Smith to find it with me.”

“Yeah, that would have pretty much ruined your lovely little story,” she said as she was looking down at the key in her hands. “You didn’t have any better idea than telling him that you came back because of me, did you?”

Mikasa’s words made the boy flinch. He hunched his shoulders, and his ears were turning ridiculously red. “I’m sorry about that too,” he mumbled. The girl remembered him looking the exact same way during a game of truth or dare at a house party in eighth grade, when Armin dared him to kiss her.

“Why would you say that anyway? Were you trying to appeal to his long-lost romantic side, or what?” she scoffed. 

“Uh, no, I’m pretty sure that side is already too long-lost for that,” he said with an uneasy chuckle, scratching the back of his head nervously. 

Mikasa said nothing. She kept staring at the tiny key, turning it over and over in her fingers. For a brief moment she thought about sending the boy away, but she knew he didn’t have anywhere else to go, and her apartment was probably the safest place for him right now. 

Eren put his hand down and took a deep breath. He stepped closer and crouched in front of her so that he could see her face. He looked up at her with serious, wide eyes. He reached out and touched the outside of her hands softly, closing them around the key. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I shouldn’t have come here, dragging you into all of this, and I shouldn’t have just disappeared in the morning without a word. I shouldn’t have even mentioned you during my interrogation, and I…”

“You shouldn’t have left in the first place.” Mikasa’s hands tightened around the key so hard that its teeth cut into the soft skin of her palms. She squeezed her eyes shut against the warm tears that were already rolling down her cheeks. “You shouldn’t have left me here.”

Eren’s jaw clenched, and his eyes widened even more. He looked like a puppy that’s angry and frightened at the same time. “I’m sorry,” he moaned. “I’m sorry,” he repeated as he was trying to wipe her tears off with the sleeve of his shirt.

“You shouldn’t have left me here,” she cried and fell over, her knees hitting the cold bathroom floor hard. She put her arms up around his neck, her fists squeezing the soft material of his shirt. She pulled herself closer to him and buried her face in his shoulder. 

Eren could feel her tears soaking his shirt, and the thin lines of blood on his back rolling down from her hand that was still clenching around the key. Instinctively, he embraced her, holding onto her so tight that the veins on his arms showed. He could feel her breasts pressing against his chest, rising and falling rapidly. He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against hers, his warm breath brushing her ear. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”


	5. The Trap

Mikasa didn’t want to wake up just yet. She moved closer to Eren and squeezed her eyelids together so tight that her eyes began to water. She buried her face in his shoulder so that she can hide from the morning light invading her room and inhaled the comforting scent of the boy’s skin. She managed to make herself fall back half asleep, but suddenly, vivid memories of their yesterday conversation in the bathroom filled her mind. Even though she was exhausted, she changed her mind and decided it’d be better to wake up.

She felt like she hadn’t slept a wink all night. Her head was pounding, her throat was dry, and her eyes were still swollen from crying. She slowly blinked them open and tried not to go blind from the bright sunlight shining in through the window. She let go of Eren’s arm that she had been holding onto all night and struggled herself into a sitting position. She rubbed her face and took a deep breath. 

he had no idea how she would have enough energy to get up, but as she glanced at her phone and saw three missed calls and two messages from her brother, the adrenaline kicking in got her out of bed immediately. Levi had sent her an angry, and an even angrier text half an hour ago, saying she should be at HQ in forty-five minutes. She got ready as fast and quiet as she could, trying not to wake Eren up, and rushed in to the office.

Her plan was to sneak in without Levi or any of the others noticing her late arrival, but she already knew that it was an impossible mission. 

“Mikasa, fucking finally.” Her brother growled the second she opened the door of the team’s common room. “We’re almost finished, but I’m glad you decided to join us.”

“I’m sorry,” she muttered and took her usual seat on the black leather couch, next to Sasha and Connie. “What did I miss?”

“It seems we’ll finally find out who our masked friends are and what they want,” Jean enlightened her. “Hopefully, you and Jäger didn’t plan anything lovey-dovey to do this afternoon, because it seems we’ll have some work to do.”

“Don’t worry, I’m free. I hope you don’t have to cancel a date either.” Mikasa turned to her teammate and continued before he could react. “Oh, what was I thinking? Of course, you don’t.”

“Fine, that’ll be enough,” Levi interrupted. “Nobody assumed that any of you immature brats would have the slightest chance for an actual date, so let’s concentrate on the mission already. So, Mikasa, the plan is pretty simple. With the help of some of Erwin’s associates we’re simulating a transaction similar to the previous ones that were interrupted. Jean’s talking to the ‘customers’, Connie’s backing him up on the scene. Sasha and you are going to be on the roof keeping watch as usual. Arlert and I are keeping an eye on all sensors and security cameras around the area – we already got Hange’s van for that. Our main aim is to get rid of the guys, save one, that we can bring in for interrogation if possible. Any questions?”

“Yes. What makes you think that they will show up?” Mikasa frowned. 

“By now we have a pretty fat file about their attacks, enough for them to become more predictable. Hange studied all reports carefully and modelled a mission that is similar to the previously interrupted ones,” Levi explained. “Also, in the past they seemed to attack periodically. It’s high-time for them to show up again.”

“And how are we going to detect them? We didn’t see them coming the last two times, what will be different this time?” She shook her head. That mission was about the last thing she wanted to do that day. She didn’t care about the masked figures, she didn’t care about the company. She just wanted to go home and help Eren looking for his father’s notes, spending as much time with him as possible before he leaves again.

“Hange’s van is way more well-equipped than our other vehicles, and Armin is sure that now that he’s able to take an eye on all underground channels, he’s not going to miss them. They probably managed to surprise us by using tunnels that for some reason weren’t registered in our system. Hagne’s team re-mapped the underground routes with special care for the area under the warehouse that we’re using today. But you would already know all that if you didn’t miss the first forty-five minutes of the meeting.”

“Okay, again, I’m sorry.” It seemed that there was no way out of the mission, so the best Mikasa could do was to get over with it as soon as possible. “So, when are we taking off?”

“You have three hours to get ready,” Levi glanced at the matte-black watch on his wrist. “I suggest you eat something, and Mikasa, you should also have some sleep. You look especially drained today. Dismissed.”

The second Levi left the room Connie and Sasha were racing each other down to the cafeteria, leaving the whole couch to Mikasa to lay down. The girl thought she would take her brother’s advice and have some rest. She would have plenty of time to eat later and wasn’t that hungry anyway. Plus, once she was stuck at work, she may as well use the time to get Eren and herself some help for the search later.

“You do look like shit, you know,” Jean turned to her, sprawling in the armchair next to her, making the leather creaking as he moved. 

“Thank you,” she murmured in response and closed her eyes, hoping that she can shut her teammate out that way, however, Jean wasn’t that easy to shut out. 

“What the hell did Jäger do to you?” he scoffed. “I mean I see that you have a lot of catching up to do, but he could at least let you have a couple hours of sleep, and you also should…”

“Jean,” Armin interrupted sharply. “I’m starving. Would you be so kind to go down and fetch me something to eat before Sasha destroys all of our food supplies?”

“Do I look like your fucking personal assistant, Arlert?” 

“And a cup of coffee maybe?” the boy continued in the same soft yet intimidatingly persuasive voice. “I think Mikasa would like some as well.”

“Oh, yeah, that would be great, Jean.” The girl gave him a look of appeal, switching to Armin’s killing-with-kindness strategy. “Please.”

“You know what? Fine,” he jumped up, his voice mildly irritated. “But don’t think I don’t know that you just want to get rid of me. So, this is basically me being incredibly nice and getting out of here, even bringing you some food and coffee like a damn…,” he grumbled his way out, making his displeasure heard throughout the whole corridor.

“Perfect,” Armin nodded as he took Jean’s place in the big armchair with a tiny, sly half-smile at the corner of his mouth. “Now you shall have some peace.”

“Thanks, Armin, I really don’t have much energy to cope with him right now.” She yawned. “But I have the feeling you helped me getting rid of Jean so eagerly because you have some questions about Eren.”

Armin shook his head. “No, you can sleep if you want to. I’m not nagging you about Eren. I imagine that’s all everyone else has been doing in the last twenty-four hours.”

“Well, yes, but you’re his friend,” Mikasa sat up again. “I know you’re curious, you always are.”

“I used to be his friend,” the boy corrected her and reached for one of the books lying on the round table next to him. “He left me here too, remember?”

“Yes, but he’s been asking about you a lot,” lied Mikasa. “I think he’ll need your help to, you know, fit back in.”

“Does he really?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, I need your help,” admitted the girl, “to help him… fit in. Please, Armin?”

The boy was staring at the open book in his hands silently for a couple of seconds. Mikasa could almost hear the gears turning in his head. “I did think of visiting him, you know. Just to see how he’s doing. But I wasn’t sure how I feel about welcoming him back in our lives just like that,” he said finally. “I mean, don’t tell me that it’s so easy for you. He left you, Mikasa, he left all of us in spite of our every attempt to make him stay. He walked out of our lives willingly, and now he simply wants to come back? It doesn’t work that way. We will never have the same relationship like we had before, you know that very well.”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Mikasa scooted closer to the boy. “I’m not telling you to be his best friend again, just… just promise me you’ll think about giving him another chance, alright? He cannot really leave my apartment right now, so come and see him when you’re ready.”

“Fine, I’ll think about it,” he nodded. “Now have some sleep, or we’ll have no chance against those masked freaks on the mission.”

Mikasa sighed and lay down again. She knew she could trust Armin and was sure that the boy can help them find out where they should look for those godforsaken notes. Of course, she promised Eren she would keep his secret, so now she only had to convince the boy to tell Armin everything that he told her. Once they have the notes and get rid of Eren’s attackers, it’s also possible that Armin could help to convince him to stay here with them, where he belongs.

*

“Mikasa!” Sasha screamed as she saw a girl in a cat mask aiming at her teammate. Mikasa defended herself out of instinct, she didn’t even think about what to do. She dodged the bullet, got to her attacker in less than a second, and slapped the gun out of her hand. She thought once the blonde girl is unarmed, she could be captured easily, but she turned out to be tougher than Mikasa had expected. Even though the cat-girl was short and pretty thin too, she seemed to take advantage of her petite figure in hand-to-hand combat.

Despite all of their caution, the masked team managed to surprise them again. Armin could see only two of them arriving through the underground tunnels, the other two – just like earlier – seemingly appeared out of nowhere. But now that they were more prepared for a counter-attack, and thereby the mysterious figures couldn’t flee the scene right away, they could see that the girl and one of the guys were wearing some kind of gear, that allowed them to travel in the air at high speed, maneuvering among the buildings.

“I’ll be fine!” Mikasa shouted back to Sasha. “Go down and help the boys!”

The girl hesitated for a moment, but eventually jumped off the roof and ran to cover Connie, who was lying unconscious behind a stack of wooden boxes. With the help of the fake customers he and Jean had been able to disarm the other three men, but they were almost as well-trained as their female teammate. They managed to take down Erwin’s associates in no time, and the one in a rabbit mask even got his gun back. 

“Watch out!” Jean shouted, as he also ran for his silver revolver that was lying on the floor, shot the weapon out of the tall guy’s hand, and put a bullet through his thigh too. The man’s scream filled the warehouse, distracting everyone for a moment. Jean used the situation to give the final order to his team. “The lanky one got injured! I’ll get him, kill the others!”

Sasha shot one of the men immediately, but before she could turn to the other, the blonde girl suddenly pushed Mikasa away, dived down from the roof, grabbed her teammate, and by the time Mikasa got down to them, they were already back up on the roof with the help of their gears. 

The masked girl was reaching for her gun as well, but once she saw Levi getting out of the van, aiming at them from below, she changed her mind. She dodged a bullet and glanced down at their injured teammate. She hesitated for a second, but the guy next to her grabbed her arm and dragged her towards the other edge of the roof. It seemed she really wanted to go back for the man in the rabbit mask, but her other teammate convinced her to flee. 

Mikasa ran to Jean to help him capture the tall one, but the injured man was already unconscious. “Is he dead?”

“No,” Jean shook his head as he was trying to stop the bleeding on the guy’s thigh. “He just fainted due to the of the loss of blood.”

“Fine,” Levi walked into the warehouse followed by Armin. The man looked around, disgusted. “Take him to the hospital wing and tend to his injuries! He must stay alive. Christa’s going to interrogate him once he’s awake. Take Springer too! Is he alright?”

“He has no open wounds, and he’s still breathing, sir, I think he’ll be fine,” Armin assured them, as he checked everybody who was lying on the floor one by one. 

“Good.” Levi jerked his head towards the two men who played the roles of their fake customers. “What about them?”

“One will be okay, but I’m afraid we lost the other,” the boy shook his head. “A masked guy is dead too.”

“Wonderful,” the man sighed wearily. “Mikasa, help Jean and Sasha to get the injured into the van! We should get them to HQ as soon as possible. Armin, make sure that they make it there alive! Two dead bodies are more than enough for today. I’ll call for a clean-up crew to take care of this mess. Once everything’s settled, just go home. We’ll have a meeting about the mission later, after the captive wakes up.”

Mikasa complied and took the tall attacker, laying him down next to Connie and the injured man. Now that he was alone and his mask had been removed, he didn’t seem dangerous at all. He was just a guy around their age, lanky and even a bit scrawny. The girl watched his unconscious face as Armin was taking care of his wound, making sure that he wouldn’t bleed to death before they get to HQ. She didn’t know if it was only her imagination, but the boy’s face somehow resembled his mask. He looked just like a rabbit – he looked like a skinny, weak, scared bunny.


	6. Closer

Mikasa wrapped a towel around herself as she stepped out of the shower. She wiped the steam off the mirror and frowned at her reflection. Despite her power nap before the mission and the long, hot shower she took immediately after she got home, she still looked pretty worn-out. She was looking at her pale, sunken face with red eyes and wondered if the black circles under them would ever disappear. 

She stepped out of the steamy bathroom and breathed in the cool air. She entered the living-room that was combined with the kitchen and went to fetch something to eat, but forgot that she hadn’t done groceries for more than a month now. She grabbed a diet coke so that she didn’t make the distance to the fridge for nothing and leaned on the kitchen counter.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Eren closed the notebook in his lap, turned the TV down, and glanced back at her from the couch. “Is everyone okay?”

“Connie got injured, but he’ll be fine.” Mikasa sipped the coke with a frown. “All considered it wasn’t a bad mission. I’m just very tired.”

“I see,” the boy acknowledged with a nod. “And? Do you know more about the mysterious masked guys now?”

“Not yet.” She shook her head slightly. “We managed to get one of them, but Jean knocked him out, so he can only be interrogated after he wakes up.”

“Do you know who’s interrogating him?” 

“Christa, I think,” she yawned and trudged to the couch, sinking down next to Eren.

“That’ll be painful,” he moaned.

“Why would you care?” Mikasa put the can down on the black coffee table in front of them, laid back, and closed her eyes for a moment. 

“I just don’t want him to mention Erwin that it wasn’t them who actually beat me up.” He shook his head. “These guys were a pretty nice cover story. I don’t want Smith to find out I lied to him.”

“Well, in that case, maybe you shouldn’t have lied to him.” She pulled her legs up. 

“I-,” he started, but the girl cut him off.

“Never mind, I know, we’ve already talked about this. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” She looked at the notebook lying on the couch next to the boy. “Any luck with your research?”

“Not much,” Eren muttered and rubbed his eyes wearily. “I tried to log in from your notebook, but I only got access to the most boring files in the company’s database. I haven’t even found the mention of my father, but I already gave up for today. I’ll continue tomorrow, I can barely see anymore.”

“It’s okay, we’ll find your dad’s notes. They must be… well… somewhere.”

“I know, I just really hoped that I’ll find them online. I really don’t want to break in to HQ’s basement to search through the archives. I’ve already taken enough risks,” he sighed and laid back next to the girl, hesitantly turning his head to face her. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but changed his mind and put an arm around her instead, pulling her closer. 

She laid her head on the boy’s shoulder and slid her arms around his waist, carefully avoiding the wound on his side. 

She let her eyelids droop together. She pulled herself even closer and inhaled the boy’s comfortingly familiar scent. With her fingertips she felt the edge of his bandage and the lines of his muscles around it. She took a deep breath and relaxed her muscles one by one, letting her guard down, sinking into his embrace slowly. She needed no time to shut out the sound of the laughter machine in the late-night show on TV and start to lose connection to reality. 

She didn’t know how much later, she vaguely felt Eren removing her towel and replacing it with a soft, warm blanket. She wanted to thank him, but all she managed was a silent, grateful grunt before she fell asleep. 

The next morning she woke up to the muffled sound of thunder and pouring rain. She sat up in her bed and tried to blink her eyes open, but the painfully bright, grey light coming through the window made her close them again right away. She had no idea how much she’d slept, but she couldn’t remember the last time she felt so well-rested. She woke up unusually relaxed and calm, but she would have been surprised if life let her stay in that peaceful state of mind for too long. Once her eyes finally adjusted to the brightness of the room, and she realized that Eren – once again – was nowhere near, she immediately felt her blood pressure rising. The indistinct noises coming from the hall didn’t calm her down either. 

She opened the drawer of her bedside table carefully, took her gun, and tiptoed to the door. “… but I think she’s still sleeping,” she heard the boy, almost whispering.  
“Okay, let’s not wake her up then, I’m sure she’s pretty exhausted,” came the answer in another familiar voice. “I’ll take these to the kitchen and make her some coffee.”

Mikasa let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding and quickly put the gun back to the drawer. She hastily ran her fingers through her hair, smoothing it down a bit, looked at the long, white T-shirt she was wearing just to make sure she wasn’t naked, and headed to the kitchen. 

“Good morning, boys,” she smiled at the two of them and took a seat on one of the red counter stools. She gave a nod to their visitor. “Hello, Armin.”

“Hey, Mikasa. I was trying to call you, but I guess you were asleep. I was waiting in the car in front of the building when I saw Eren on his way back from the bakery, and he let me in. I hope I’m not intruding.”

“Not at all.” Mikasa shook her head and turned to Eren. “I’m surprised you know where the bakery is.”

“Well, you don’t keep much food at home, so I didn’t have any other choice but to find it,” he shrugged. The rain having soaked him, the boy was trying to dry his hair with the towel that Mikasa left on the couch yesterday night. 

“Fair point,” Armin laughed as he poured coffee into three rarely-used mugs he dug up from one of the cabinets. “It’s a wonder how you stay so fit with two premade meals and four cups of coffee a day.”

“It’s mostly the coffee that keeps me going,” she yawned and reached for one of the mugs. “It provides me with every nutrient I need.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a very healthy diet.” Eren frowned after he got rid of his wet shirt and sat down next to Mikasa. 

“Wow, nice tattoo.” Armin raised his eyebrows as he pushed a mug in front of Eren. It seemed that the odd-shaped star under the boy’s left collarbone distracted him from Mikasa’s eating habits completely. “What does it symbolize?”

“Nothing, really,” Eren snorted. “Drunk me just found it cool for some reason.”

“Really? That’s funny.” Armin gave a surprised laugh. “If I remember well, after last year’s Christmas party Mikasa also made a similar, less sober decision and has some forget-me-nots on her hipbone since.”

“Yes, I know,” Eren said casually as he reached for the bakery bag to get a croissant.

Seeing the even more surprised expression on Armin’s face, Mikasa decided to change the topic immediately. “And, do we know more about the guy we caught yesterday?” she asked abruptly. 

“Ohm,” unusual for him, the boy needed a second to collect his thoughts, “no, as far as I know, he’s still unconscious. But he has been successfully identified; he’s university student from Marley. So, thanks to some of our associates in the city, we do know more about his employer.”

“Really?” Mikasa glanced at the boy next to her for a second.

“What associates?” Eren asked with a full mouth. 

“I don’t know,” shrugged Armin. “You know how carefully Smith handles information about his spies. Anyway, now we know that the biggest Marlean gang has been taken over by a mysterious boss for a time now, who – for some reason – wants Erwin down.”

“Marely is pretty close, he probably needs our territory for business,” theorized Mikasa. 

“That’d have been my guess as well,” said Armin. “But his plan’s just not adding up. I mean, I get that he wants to use this creepy, masked task force to weaken us, but what’s the next step? The interrupted missions and transactions are no good for the company’s rep, that’s true, but he can’t cancel us so easily. He knows that for sure.”

“Ture,” the girl agreed. “Plus, it doesn’t make much sense why he’s so interested in Smith and Elida. I’m sure he’d find much weaker gangs to take over towards the east, wouldn’t he?”

“Exactly,” nodded Armin. “And the funny thing is that we haven’t heard a thing about this guy before – not even with the company’s ridiculously extensive intelligence system. He’s just driving Erwin crazy. I think he’s become even more paranoid than before.”

“If that’s even possible.” Mikasa rolled her eyes and turned to Eren. “But that’s probably the reason why you had hardly any access to the company’s database from my notebook.”

“Why, what do you need from the database?” Armin frowned.

Eren gave the girl a reproving glance. “I was trying to find out what happened to my father. We still have no clue why he had to leave town years ago, and Smith’s not sharing the info any time soon. So, I tried to dig up some files about the matter, but didn’t find a thing.”

“You won’t.” Armin shook his head. “I also tried it earlier, but your dad’s name has been completely erased from the company’s files, like he had never even existed. I even searched through the archives in the basement, but nothing.”

“Really?” Eren’s head jerked with surprise. 

The boy nodded. 

“Are you sure?” Mikasa frowned.

“Yes, I’m pretty sure. Why?” Armin raised his brows slightly.

“Because…” the girl started, but instead of finishing the sentence she looked at Eren, expecting the boy to do so.

“Because when I searched through my father’s stuff, I found a key with a tag saying BASEMENT-J845,” the boy admitted. “I thought that might be a key to some top-secret segment of the archives at HQ’s basement.”

The puzzled expression on Armin’s face suggested that he had numerous questions in his mind at the moment, but after some hesitation he finally stated only one out loud. “Where did you find that key exactly?”

“In my dad’s house.” Eren’s stare was fixed at the mug in his hands.

“You found your dad? Where?” came the silent questions.

Eren shook his head slightly. “All I found was some stuff he left behind. He’s dead.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Armin muttered.

“It’s okay, I mean, I’m- I-,” Eren sighed. “I just hoped that I can find some answers in the archives with the key.”

Armin swallowed. “Well,” he thought for a moment, “have you tried the basement of your old house?”

Eren flinched as if he’d just been slapped. “I didn’t really think of that yet.”

Armin reached into his pocket to get his ringing phone. “Yeah, well I assume if it’s not HQ, or the basement of the building you found that key in, it’s worth a shot to look there. But it’s just a guess, really,” he shrugged and headed to the hall to answer the call.

Mikasa immediately turned to Eren. “You searched through the basement of your father’s house in Marley, didn’t you?” she asked in a low voice.

“Of course, I did,” he replied, his voice slightly irritated. “But I haven’t even thought of our old house here. Do you know what happened with it after mom’s death?”  
Mikasa thought for a second. “I haven’t been there for a long time now, but I think it’s empty. Maybe, we should check it out.”

Eren nodded. “We should definitely check it out. Hey, Armin, thanks for the tip, I think I’ll give it shot,” he smiled at the boy, who rushed back to the room to get his jacket form the back of the sofa.

“Great, I hope you’ll find something helpful. Keep me updated.” He put his jacket on hastily.

“Is everything alright?” asked Mikasa, concerned. “That was a pretty short conversation. Levi called, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, Hange is out of town, so he needs me to get to HQ and do an autopsy instead of her.”

“What? On who?” she furrowed her brows.

“On the masked guy we captured,” the blonde said darkly. “It seems he’s been murdered.”


	7. Back

“Thank you for helping out, Arlert.” Levi was standing next to the long table covered with a white sheet. He seemed even more irritated than normally, and the dark circles under his eyes told Armin that his boss wasn’t in his most well-rested state either. “I’m sorry for interrupting on your day off, but I couldn’t reach Hange, and I want to find out what happened as soon as possible.”

“No worries, Mr. Ackerman,” Armin said while he was sure that the man had no worries at all. “What do we know?”

“Not much,” Levi shook his head slightly. “The guards didn’t even realize he was dead. Christa found it out in the morning, when she was about to interrogate him. No sign of injury or toxins. It’s like he’d just simply stopped breathing.”

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do.” The boy put on his facemask and a pair of gloves. “But I must mention that I might oversee something that Hange would be able to spot.”

The man acknowledged his words with a curt nod and headed to the door to leave him to his work. Armin stepped closer to the metal table and sighed before reaching for the cover. After years of having to see corpses in all kinds of conditions, he still felt his stomach turn at the sight of a dead body, especially, when he was the one who had to cut it up. He was no professional pathologist, but he could do an autopsy when neither Hange nor Dr. Ral were available. 

He pressed his lips together, held his breath, and uncovered the tall body. He completely understood why no one realized the guy was dead; he was pretty pale and obviously wasn’t breathing, but other than that, he looked like he was just sleeping peacefully. 

The boy was reaching for the dissector, but his hand, alongside with his whole body, froze when he uncovered the guy’s chest. He couldn’t even find his voice for a moment, but once he got himself together, he rushed to the door and called for Levi in panic. 

*

_Eleven years earlier_

Carla was sitting on the dark green couch in the living room, trying to concentrate on a book whose only purpose was to keep her awake until her husband got home. She was already contemplating to give it up and go to bed alone when she heard the silent creaks of wood and sound of light, pounding footsteps form behind. “Eren, honey, what are you doing here? It’s almost midnight, you should be asleep,” she turned to his son, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs in his PJs.

“I need Mr. Snuggles,” the boy muttered, half-asleep. “He’s in the cabinet under the TV, right? I’ll just get him and go right back to bed, I promise.”

The woman stood up and put her book down on the small, mahogany coffee table in front of the couch. “Alright, honey, let’s find Mr. Snuggles,” she nodded and stepped to the wide cabined to dig up the old teddy bear.

“Thank you,” he mumbled and walked closer to sit down on the floor next to his mother. 

“I thought you don’t need him anymore,” Carla said with a slight smirk on her face as she was searching through a basked full of Eren’s old toys and stuffed animals. “I remember you explicitly stating that stuffed animals are for toddlers, and you’re a big ten-year-old now, who doesn’t need a teddy bear to fall asleep anymore.”

“It’s not for me,” the boy shook his head. “Mikasa needs it. I guess girls need stuffed animals a little longer.”

The woman’s smirk disappeared as she pressed her lips together. “Oh, I see. Well, here he is,” she took the teddy bear out of the basked and shook it slightly to see if it’s not too dusty. “Well, he’s still in a pretty good condition, but I think we should wash him before giving him to Mikasa.”

“No, she needs it now,” the boy stood up and took Mr. Snuggles from his mother, “or she’ll never stop crying.”

“Mikasa’s crying?” Carla caught her son’s upper arm before he could head back to the stairs.

Eren nodded. “She says she’s missing some plush kitten that got lost when she moved to us. Luckily, I don’t need Mr. Snuggles anymore, so she can have it to replace that cat.”

The woman took the boy’s shoulders and gently turned him to face her. “Honey, does it happen often that Mikasa’s missing that kitten?”

“I think so,” Eren nodded. “It must have helped her sleep, because she usually cries about it at night.”

“Yes, you’re probably right.” The woman was trying to conceal the concerned look on her face. She stood up and took her son’s hand. “Let’s go and give her Mr. Snuggles then. Hopefully, it’ll cheer her up a bit.”

*

_Nowadays_

Mikasa felt her stomach turn as they pulled up in front of their old house. She’d been avoiding the unnaturally green, quiet suburban street since she had moved out shortly after Carla’s death. She stopped the engine with a tight chest and turned to Eren to see if the boy was feeling the same, but she couldn’t tell. He opened the door and got out of the car with an indifferent face that even Levi might have envied.

He sighed as he looked up at the house. “I guess you were right, no one seems to live here.” 

The two-story building wasn’t in a bad condition at all, but it was clear that there had been nobody taking care of it in the past three years. All shutters were down, the grass in the front garden was turning brown, and the narrow, once colorful flower beds leading up to the entrance were dry and empty.

The girl locked the car, reached into her pocket to get the only key to the house she could dig up from one of the old boxes at the bottom of her closet, and headed to the backdoor. She just wanted to get those godforsaken notes and leave the place as soon as possible. Eren followed her in silence. 

The backdoor opened to a spacious, modern kitchen that seemed like its owners left only for a couple weeks of vacation. It was dark and a bit dusty, but all the built-in kitchen cabinets and appliances were in perfect condition. In general – besides the immense dust on the floor and the ghost-like pieces of furniture covered with white sheets – the inside of the house looked exactly the way they had left it years ago. 

Mikasa didn’t want to look around much – she already felt her throat going dry and her eyes burning. She hurried to the basement door and pulled it firmly, but it was locked. “I can’t believe this,” she murmured to herself, took a deep breath with her eyes closed, and kicked it open. As the cheap lock broke and the door flew open with a loud crash, a strange wave of calm rushed through the girl’s body. 

“Ok,” Eren said in an unusually high pitch and glanced down at the long stairway from behind the girl’s shoulder. “After you, then.”

Mikasa turned on her flashlight and started her way down on the steep stairs carefully. Now that she’d managed to release some tension, curiosity overcame her anxiety. She looked around in the seemingly empty place, frowning. “Do you have any idea what should we look for exactly?”

“In his house in Marley, dad hid things all over the place; in the cabinets, under the floor, inside the walls. I felt like I was searching through a fucking pyramid.”  
“Alright, you start with the floor, I’ll check the walls,” she sighed and began knocking at the wooden walls in order to find hidden panels. “You know, you could have told Armin the truth.”

Even though her back was to him, she could feel the boy rolling his eyes. The systematic thumping on the floor coming from his direction went a little louder. “I didn’t even want to tell him this much.” 

“I’m sorry about that, but we wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for him.” She stopped for a moment to turn to him. “You didn’t lose everything and everyone after leaving, believe me. He’s still your friend, just like me. I get that you didn’t want to tell everything to Erwin and Levi, but you can trust Armin for sure.”

Eren shook his head slightly. “Can we please not talk about this right now?”

She nodded and turned back to the wall but didn’t plan to let the topic go just yet. “I only wanted to -” she started but suddenly stopped as she heard her last knock remarkably louder. She knocked again and tried to feel the hidden compartment with her hands. “There it is.”

“You found something?” Eren jumped up and stepped behind the girl.

“I think so. It looks like a safe.” She pushed aside the small metal disc covering a keyhole and squinted to see the tiny writing over it. “J845. That’s it!”

“Oh, thank God,” Eren sighed and opened the small metal door carefully. “Two fucking notebooks? That’s it? Really? There must be more.”

“Well, it’s more than nothing,” Mikasa shrugged and reached for one of the brown leather journals. She opened it and started to skim through Dr. Jäger’s neat handwriting. As she kept reading, article after article, she felt the anxiety returning in her stomach and started to feel sick. 

_09.23 15:31_  
_After showing the usual progress in the physical aspects in the first 12 hours, the subjects in Row6 gradually started to show signs of the loss of human intelligence afterwards. In the second 12 hours, surviving subjects (3/6 – 50% better!) failed at completing test C1, but successfully solved the tasks of B1 and A1. Re-tested in the 25th hour, all subjects in Row6 failed both C1 and B1, struggled with A1 (that meant no problem the previous day)._  
_→ try Dr.Z’s suggested method?_  
_Besides declining mental abilities, all surviving subjects developed an unnatural interest in human flesh. This morning, at some point between 10:00 and 10:15, S59 consumed 98% of the left arm of S62, killing S62 in the process. S62 was yet to be injected with the serum. The origin of this mutation is unknown and is to be tested in Row7._

“This is some serious nonsense,” she turned to Eren, who was examining the other notebook. “Either your dad lost his mind, or he didn’t write this. These articles are about experiments on people. There’s no way he would have given his name to such horrible things.”

The boy’s face remained ominously indifferent. “You would be surprised what my dad -” he started, but his words were cut short by the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs.

Mikasa reached for her gun but was too slow. A moment later immense pain sliced into her right thigh, and she fell on her knees. Before she could pull herself together, a familiar figure grabbed her arms from behind, making it impossible for her to move. She was trying to remain conscious, but her vision was already getting blurry, and her head was becoming heavier and heavier, pulling her towards the ground. 

“I think I told you NOT to fucking follow me here!” She heard Eren shouting, his voice thickened with anger. “And why the fuck did you shoot, Annie? You could have killed her!”

Mikasa was blinking at the small figure standing at the bottom of the stares. Even though she couldn’t see her clearly, she recognized her: it was the blonde girl she encountered on the roof on their last mission, she just wasn’t wearing her mask. 

“And we should,” she heard the boy who was holding her down. “She saw us.”

“AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?” 

“Eren, calm down,” he continued in a low, surprisingly soft voice. “I see you have the notes, so the boss will execute the plan. You wouldn’t have been able to lie to her for too long anyway.”

“Yeah. And she’ll probably be dead soon, alongside most of her colleagues,” Annie spitted. “Which they deserve by the way. I’m not sure if you care, but your dear old friends fucking killed Marcel and Berthold!”

“Oh, come on, why would they kill Berthold before questioning him?” Eren rolled his eyes. 

“How do you know he died before the interrogation?” the girl frowned. 

“Because I took care of it,” Eren hissed. “Which, by the way, would have been your job, since he was too weak to use his pill.”

Mikasa started to feel dizzy as she was trying to process his words. She tried to take a deep breath, but she started coughing as she inhaled the metallic smell of her own blood, spreading in front of her on the floor. She blinked at the blurry, red puddle. Out of instinct, she reached for the aching wound on her thigh, but the guy was holding her arms still. She closed her eyes to regain some strength, but she couldn’t even make herself open them again.


	8. Hunger

Mikasa woke up feeling like she had been run over by a bus several times. Even though she was lying on something warm and soft, her body was in dull but constant pain. Her right leg was completely numb, she had a splitting headache, and it felt like she was going to throw up any minute. She took a deep breath, gathering strength to open her eyes, but she got too dizzy and sick to do so. She tried to remember what had happened before she lost consciousness and almost fainted again as the vivid memories invaded her mind. She swallowed back some bile and opened her eyes to slits. 

The room wasn’t as blinding bright as she expected. Thanks to the wide, shuttered windows, it was in semi-darkness. The only source of light was a round, orange standing lamp on her right. She gave it another try and slowly blinked her eyes open. She looked around and tried not to panic at the sight of the unfamiliar place.

The remarkably comfortable, queen-size bed she was lying in took up most of the tiny room, leaving space only to a rectangular desk on the other side of the lamp, next to the door. The table was full of what looked like the contents of a medical kit. Mikasa tried to sit up to see more, but the moment she tried to move, sudden pain stabbed through the numbness in her leg. She squeezed her eyes shut, held her breath and pushed herself up with her hands. She lifted the thick blanket carefully and was surprised to see that her wound had been cleansed and bandaged. 

When she heard the two familiar voices coming through the door, a pleasant wave of calmness washed over her body. Even though she had never seen that place before, she knew exactly where she was. 

*

_Earlier that day_

“I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking kill him,” Levi muttered and took another angry sip from his earl grey. He was holding the neat, white cup in his own unique way in one hand, while drumming on the round dining table with the other. “I’ll fucking end that fucking bastard.”

“Yes, I think you’ve mentioned that a couple times already,” Petra noted in a soft, calm voice. She took the man’s almost empty teacup and replaced it with a glass of bourbon.

He looked up at her, one brow raised slightly. “Do you really think I should drink right now?”

“I know you do,” she nodded and placed the cup carefully into the sink, “or at least you need something stronger than tea for sure.”

“You know that all of us are on standby and can be called to take action in any minute, right?”

“That’s why I dropped the idea of methamphetamine and settled for alcohol.”

Levi threw her a mild what-the-fuck look but didn’t say a thing. He glanced down at the golden beverage in his glass, took a sip and frowned. “Do you have scotch?”

“Drink!” She took a seat next to him at the table. 

“How the fuck are you so calm?” He asked as he obeyed her order and kept sipping the – for his taste way too sweet – liquor.

“As you mentioned, Erwin wants everyone to stay on standby until further notice. So, there’s not much we can do right now. There’s no point in wasting energy on raging,” she explained in a thoughtful, carefully measured voice.

“Fortunately, I have plenty of spare energy. So, after raging, I’ll still have more than enough to cut some bastards, especially the one that shot my sister on the leg and left her to bleed out.”

“Levi, I get you’re angry, but would you please try to calm down and think things through clearly?” Petra shook her head slightly. “There’s no way Eren wanted Mikasa dead, otherwise, he would have killed her.”

“Petra-” he started but paused and took a second to find enough self-control to keep himself from raising his voice. He clenched his jaw and leaned a little closer to her. “She went down to that fucking basement with that fucking bastard. Soon after that, I find her there with a shot wound on her thigh, lying unconscious in the middle of the biggest pool of blood I’ve seen lately. What do you think happened?”

The woman also leaned closer so that their faces were only an inch apart. “What I think is that we’ll find out when she wakes up and tells us. So, I would suggest you drink that bourbon and calm the fuck down while she’s still asleep, because the last thing she’ll need is you throwing questions at her, while threatening the life of the guy she probably has strong feelings for.”

He looked at her with the face of a sulking toddler but had to admit she had a point. He swallowed some swearwords and kept on drinking. “I shouldn’t have gone with Erwin’s genius plan on the first place. I should’ve killed Jäger the moment he set foot in town,” he went on grumbling, trying to direct his anger at someone else than the woman who saved his sister’s life a couple hours ago. 

“I agree,” she nodded. “That’s exactly what you should have done, but you didn’t.”

Levi heaved a deep sigh. Controlling negative feelings wasn’t exactly his biggest strength. “You’re not much help, you know.”

The woman remained calm, blinking at him with a concerned look on her face. “Levi, you agreed to a plan that not only put your sister through significant danger, but also gave her serious mental and emotional pain. And you knew that would happen from the beginning. That was a very Erwin thing to do and doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“Do you think I don’t see that? Do you think I don’t fucking despise myself for that right now?” He failed to keep his voice down. “I know I’m a fucking moron. For some reason I was sure Jäger wouldn’t hurt her. We had no idea he worked with those masked freaks, all we knew was that he was looking for Grisha’s godforsaken notes.”

“You mean all _you_ knew.”

Levi turned away. He hadn’t let himself follow Erwin’s reckless, selfish plans for a while. He thought he got better in resisting the man’s diabolic persuasive power. He kept lying to himself that his moral compass wasn’t completely broken yet, and that he had enough power to speak up against his boss’ most ethically questionable decisions, but he had to disappoint himself. He felt the worst mixture of shame and anger. He was supposed to be the strongest and finest of that fucking company. What could be expected from the others then? 

He felt her hand gently wrapping around his, easing up the self-pity in his chest slightly. “Do you want me to talk to her first?” she asked softly.

He gave her hand a thankful squeeze and shook his head. “No, I’ll talk to her. I have to apologize and tell her everything.”

*

Mikasa watched silently as her brother pulled up a chair beside her bed and sat down. The man was visibly exhausted. As far as she could tell, he was wearing either his angry-indifferent or his tense-indifferent face. Either way, he wasn’t in a good mood, so it was clear to her that she was the one who had to start the conversation. “We are at Dr. Ral’s, aren’t we?”

He nodded. “Soon after I found you, we were informed that HQ is not safe anymore, so I brought you here.”

“So, is this the mysterious somewhere you always had to be lately?” She couldn’t keep a small smirk off her face.

He ignored her question. “How are you feeling?”

She turned her head and fixed her eyes on her hands folded in her lap. “Like shit,” she muttered.

“I see,” he acknowledged with a curt nod. “Do you remember what happened?”

“I got shot.” Mikasa spoke lower and lower, like her voice was fading. 

“Yeah, I’ve managed to figure out that much. Was it Jäger?”

The girl shook her head. “No,” she whispered.

Levi could almost feel Petra’s I-told-you-so stare through the wall. He tried speak as calmly as possible. “Could you tell me what happened to you in that basement and would you please go into a few more details?”

Mikasa cleared her throat to regain her voice and heaved a small sigh. “Two of the masked guys found us in the basement; that robust, blonde man and the short girl. She was the one who shot me.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Did they attack Jäger too?”

“No.” 

“Interesting,” he muttered. “What were you two doing in your old house, anyway?”

The girl looked at him like she wanted to punch him in the face. “We could save so much time if you just asked the questions you don’t actually know the answer to. You know about the notes, don’t you?”

Levi nodded silently.

“And you knew all along, right? That’s why you let Eren stay. Smith needed those fucking notes as well and he used Eren to find them.” She felt anger swirling up her stomach, but she soon had to find out it wasn’t just anger. She put her hand in front of her mouth and swallowed the bile.

He frowned and handed her a glass of water and a piece of gaze from the table behind him. “We didn’t know that he’s working to that Marley gang, all we knew was that he was looking for the notes.”

“Please tell me you don’t actually believe that.” She wiped her mouth and took a sip of water, keeping it in her mouth for some seconds before swallowing. “He must have known about everything. He always does, but you know that.”

“I-,” Mikasa couldn’t believe her ears. She hadn’t heard her brother’s voice break ever before. It was legit terrifying. He cleared his throat and continued. “I didn’t know Jäger was dangerous, otherwise, I wouldn’t have agreed to this plan. Mikasa, I-”

“Nevermind,” she cut him off softly and turned her eyes back to her hands. “Just tell me everything you know now, please.”

He looked at her in silence for a moment, his face without expression. He was probably trying to figure out where to start. “Well, apparently, the Marley gang – the one our masked friends belong to – has been taken over by one of their former lawyers a couple of months ago; the guy’s name is Zeke Jäger, and he’s Eren’s half-brohter.”

Mikasa’s eyes widened. “What the actual fuck,” she murmured.

“Yeah, seems like Grisha didn’t just randomly moved to Marley after he’d been exiled; he went back. So, Zeke has some heartbreaking story about avenging his father and putting Erwin down, but as far as I’m concerned, he just needs the Eldian territories for business.”

“But he couldn’t just kill Erwin and take over control, could he? If he wants our territories, he has to destroy the whole company first.” Mikasa felt her head pounding as she was trying to connect the dots.

“Yeah. He needed a weapon. That’s why he sent his hotheaded, vengeful brother back for their father’s notes. According to Hange’s speculations, that ridiculous masked team was also here to help Eren while distracting us from him searching for the journals. Now that he found them, Zeke has the trump card in his hands.”

Mikasa felt like she was going to throw up again. “But I don’t get it. Smith must have known all of this. There’s no way he didn’t, not with his network - not with his paranoia. Why didn’t he do something to prevent things going so far?”

Levi looked like he had to swallow back some bile too. “Once again, I have no idea how much Erwin knew. But if he was informed about the whole plan, my guess is he went all or nothing. He wanted those notes as well for some reason. Maybe, he planned to use them the same way against Zeke.”

“But Zeke got the notes first.”

“Yes, that would be the nothing from the all or nothing for Erwin.”

“But those notes are full of horrible things, Levi. They’re about experiments on people, killing and eating other people. Do you hear me? EATING them.”

“Yeah,” he sighed and massaged the back of his neck wearily. “Turns out your stepfather had been doing some pretty wild experiments earlier. Years ago, Erwin ordered him to create a serum that makes our people stronger. Long story short, Dr. Jäger started experimenting and basically created mindless cannibals in the process.”

“You’re kidding, right? How could that happen?”

“Well, the project was partly successful. The people injected with that serum do become physically stronger at first, and as they lose intelligence with time, they become much easier to control. The problems begin later when they – as you mentioned – start to have an uncontrollable hunger for human flesh.”

“Successful?” Mikasa started to get dizzy again. She could feel her blood pressure rising. “That’s not partly successful. That’s not any kind of successful. That’s a disaster. How could anyone do such things to other human beings? I’ve seen Smith assist to some seriously twisted shit, but that’s too much even form him. How can that man sleep at night?”

“Yeah, well, you can ask him if we survive this,” he murmured as he reached into his pocket and looked at his buzzing phone. He stood up and headed to the door. “Stay here and try not to get too upset. You’re still very weak.”

“What? Where are you going?”

“I just got Erwin’s orders. I have to go.”

“I’m coming with you.”

He looked back from the door. “Are you kidding? You can’t even stand up. You stay here with Petra. I’ll keep you updated.”

“LEVI!” she screamed, but the man already left the room. She threw her blanket off and wanted to follow him, but didn’t even managed to get out of the bed. When she tried to move, it felt like someone was trying to rip her leg off. “Fuck you,” she moaned as she leaned back, gasping for air, trying to blink out the black specks floating in front of her eyes.


	9. Choice

As Levi stepped out of the car the chaos around HQ slapped him in the face. People were shouting and running around in the blue and red lights of police cars, fire engines, and ambulances surrounding the building. Employees were trying to escape in panic; breaking through the glass walls, jumping or being thrown out of the windows of both lower and higher floors, screaming and crying for help. The horrible scene could have been taken from any disaster movie.

Levi looked around hastily, trying to find his team. “Sir!” Armin ran to him, followed by Connie, Jean, and some of Hange’s squad.

“Arlert, report,” he muttered in such a low voice that it was a wonder the boy could even hear him above the noise.

“Fortunately, the creatures haven’t started eating people yet,” he explained. “But the serum is definitely kicking in. They invaded and took over HQ in less than an hour.”

“I see,” Levi nodded, keeping his eyes on the building, trying to see what’s happening in there through the glass walls. “How many are there?”

“Around a hundred,” the boy said, looking at the screen of a silver tablet in his hands. “We managed to get rid of some, but there’s still too many. They heal extremely fast.”

“How can they be killed?”

“So far it seems that the best way is a bullet straight to the brain; the shot has to be very precise,” he explained, skimming through the reports. “But I think anything could work that damages the brain fast enough so that it doesn’t have time to regenerate. Apparently, a secretary killed one by burning its head off with a lighter and a bottle of hairspray.”

“Good, if we survive this, remind me to give them a raise. Are the creatures unarmed?”

“Yes, mostly. If we can call them that with such physical abilities.”

“Fuck,” Levi muttered. He really wanted to avoid executing Erwin’s order, but it seemed he wouldn’t have any other choice. “How many of our people are still in there?”  
“An estimated 100-120, but we have no idea how many of them are still alive.”

Levi massaged the nape of his neck wearily. “Where the fuck is Erwin?”

“Mr. Smith left with a small task force about half an hour ago. He didn’t say where he was going.”

“Great. Did Hange join him or is she here somewhere?” Levi hoped that another member of the higher management was present, so he didn’t have to make the decision alone.

“She’s still out of town, sir. I could reach her some hours ago to inform her about the situation, but nobody had heard from her since then.”

“Wonderful,” he sighed. “Zacharias?”

Armin lowered his gaze and swallowed nervously. “He was reported dead soon after the start of the invasion, sir.”

The man ignored the painful tension gripping his body for a moment. “Did Erwin say when he’s coming back or if he’s even planning to do so?”

“No. He told us you would already know everything about the plan, sir.” Everyone stared at Levi, waiting for his orders.

“Fine,” he grunted. “Bodt, Carolina and Wagner, you get all available task forces and bring as many people out of that building as possible. You have an hour. Go!”  
“Yes, sir!” The members of Hange’s squad obeyed immediately.

The man looked at his team and hesitated for a moment. He lowered his voice a bit. “Kirstein and Springer, you drive to the docks and get all spare explosives you find in the warehouse. When you’re back, plant them in the outside vents – every second floor approximately – and wait for my word.”

“Yes, sir,” he heard Connie’s voice, but Jean stared at him in silence.

“Any objections?” he raised an eyebrow slightly.

“Sir, an hour is more than enough for us to get back from the docks and plant the bombs, but there’s no way every employee will be out from the building in such a short time.”

Levi turned away to look up at the already burning building. “Go!”

The boy opened his mouth for a second but didn’t say a word. He swallowed and followed his teammate to the car. Levi took a deep breath and tried to ignore the voice in his head, telling him that Jean was right. He reached for his buzzing phone quickly, hoping that the message was from Erwin, altering his order. He wasn’t completely wrong; it was indeed his boss who texted him, however, he sent him nothing else but an address.

*

There was nothing unusual about Erwin’s message; it was no surprise the man was minding his own business while HQ was literally in flames and his men were dying. Still, Levi drove to the address with a bad gut feeling. He entered the lobby feeling like a mouse walking straight into a trap.

He barely stepped onto the soft red carpet covering the marble floor around the front desk, he was already approached by a tall, young lady, wearing the elegant, blue uniform of the hotel. “Mr. Ackerman?” She asked with a polite smile on her face.

“I’m afraid so,” he nodded.

“Room 2179, sir,” she handed him a shiny, golden card and gestured towards the elevators on her right. “Floor 21.”

“Thank you,” he muttered and headed towards one of the wide, metallic gates. He told the floor number to the lift attendant and tried to calm himself a bit as he was watching the red numbers changing on the small screen above the buttons.

“On the left, sir,” the boy said as they stopped, and the door opened in front of them.

He thanked him with a curt nod and stepped out of the elevator cautiously. He touched his gun to make sure it was still in its place and stopped in front of the wooden door with the gold number 2179 on it. He held the card to the reader with a stable hand and entered the room, alert. Even though he was ready for anything, he was surprised by what he found inside. “Hange?” He was looking at the woman with round eyes.

“Hey, Levi, I’m glad you join us.” She waved at him from behind a wide mahogany table. “God, I love this rare, shocked expression of yours. Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything in a minute. But first, just to be safe and avoid any accidents, I would like to ask you to hand over your gun, please.”

The man looked at the two tall, well-built strangers standing behind the woman and figured he didn’t really have a choice there. He reached for the weapon and laid it on the table in front of her. “Where’s Erwin?”

“He’s dead,” she said casually like she was just talking about the weather. She didn’t seem to be in mourning for her boss at all. “Zeke killed him.”

Strangely enough, Levi didn’t feel too much grief either. He was more concerned about the oddly casual behavior of his colleague. He knew that Hange had always been a bit erratic; kind of a mad scientist. Usually, she didn’t agree with Erwin’s morally questionable decisions either, but it seemed like she didn’t really care – definitely not enough for conspiring against him and have him killed. “And where is Zeke?” he asked carefully.

“He’s dead. I killed him,” the answer came from none other than fucking Eren Jäger, joining them from the bedroom, where he had been hiding until now apparently. Levi couldn’t decide if the boy had been waiting for the perfect time to make a dramatic entrance, or he was just afraid that if he sees him first, he would have tried to kill him without hesitation.

Either way, the man was still confused by the whole situation, so he used all his energy to control himself, and resisted the urge to grab Eren’s neck and choke him to death right away or roundhouse kick him out of the window. “Jäger, you’re dead wrong if you think I can’t kill you without my gun.” He informed him about his plans first only verbally instead.

“I don’t doubt that, but you might want to take a seat and hear us out first. If you still want to kill me after we finished talking – well, be my guest.” The boy gestured towards the two empty chairs at the table.

Levi nodded and took a seat next to Hange, his eyes never leaving him.

“Alright,” the woman started once everyone was seated. “So, Eren reached out to me a couple of weeks ago, before he came to Elida, and told me about his brother’s plan. As I helped Dr. Jäger with his experiments a few years ago, we both agreed that Zeke should be stopped and the journals about Grisha’s serum must be destroyed.”

“We were afraid that if I don’t come and find dad’s notes, Zeke will just send someone else and get his hands on them eventually,” Eren added.

Levi almost flinched when he heard the boy’s voice again. “Which he did, because you gave them to him,” he hissed.

“I didn’t want to give the journals to Zeke, I wanted to destroy them. But he sent Reiner and Annie – two members of his masked task force – to check on me. They found us in the basement, shot Mikasa and took me with the notes to Zeke. I tried to fight them, but they knocked me out I was unconscious for a long time, so I couldn’t stop him from making and using the serum.” He paused for a second and lowered his voice. “I also wasn’t aware of Annie and Reiner leaving Mikasa in the basement to bleed out.”

The boy was staring at Levi, clenching his jaw, waiting for his response, but the man didn’t say a word. Even though some possible answers did pop up in his mind, he swallowed all of them. He thought it would be the best if they don’t go down that rabbit whole at the moment. He turned to Hange instead and waited for her to go on.

“Anyway,” the woman continued. “After he woke up, Eren called me immediately. Luckily, save his elite task force Zeke wasn’t too popular with the members of the Marley gang, and he had some enemies from other cities as well. So, with their help we were able to get rid of the masked guys and Zeke, taking over the company, that belongs to Eren now. As for Erwin – well, those notes wouldn’t have been in better hands with him either.”

“So, you killed him too,” Levi muttered, still trying to find some grief or at least petty for the man.

“Technically, it was Zeke who killed him. I just-” Hange started to explain but stopped. Levi knew that probably meant that they would never know what had happened to their boss exactly. “Nevermind.”

“The point is,” Eren took over the floor, “that we got rid of Zeke, we got rid of Erwin, and we finally got rid of those godforsaken notes as well.”

“I think we can all agree that this is the best possible outcome for everyone,” Hange added in a persuasive way unusual for her.

“We invited you here, because Hange and I would like you – the highest-ranking representative of the Smith and Smith Co. at the moment – to sign an agreement between the two companies. A peace treaty if you like.”

“A peace treaty,” Levi repeated. “Don’t you two geniuses think that for a peace treaty there should be peace? Or have you already forgotten about Jäger’s mini zombie army killing my men in HQ right now? Do you know how many employees have we lost already? Have you heard that Mike died as well? Or you don’t care about that either?”

“Yeah, well,” the woman swallowed and scratched the nape of her neck, “I was informed that Erwin had a plan to handle that situation.”

Levi looked at her in shock for a moment and shook his head. “I won’t blow up a hundred innocent people to get rid of the sick creatures of your brother,” he turned to Eren.

“And you don’t have to,” Hange shook her head and jerked towards Levi’s phone in his pocket. “I’m sure Jean called you a thousand times by now.”

The man glanced down at the device and saw that he indeed had a couple of unanswered calls from the members of his squad. He swiped the notification to the right and waited for the answer. “Kirstein?”

“Sir, Hange’s squad and their teams successfully completed their task. Everyone who was still alive is out of the building. What should we do now?”

Levi looked at Eren, turned to Hange, and sighed. “Blow that shithole place the fuck up.”


	10. Goodbye

_Four years ago_

Mikasa was sitting on the bed next to Eren in silence, staring at the floor for God knows how long now. She glanced at him carefully and thought about reaching for his hand for the thousandths time but rejected the idea again. She took a deep breath, held it for a few moments and exhaled slowly while trying to relax her shoulders and hands. She hadn’t even realized, but she’d been clenching the edge of the mattress so tight that she could barely feel her fingertips anymore.

Eventually, the boy was the one to break silence. “I should go and check up on mom,” he muttered.

“She’s sleeping,” she replied quietly. “I don’t think you should wake her up, she had some trouble falling asleep. She had to take two of those pills Dr. Zoe prescribed her.”

“Yes, you’re probably right,” he agreed, his voice irritated. “I should go to the store then, I don’t think we have any food at home. Do you need anything?”

“No, thank you, I already went in the morning. I also made lasagna for dinner, it’s in the fridge if you want to eat.” She had no idea why she felt guilt telling him that. “I figured your mom would want to rest.”

“Great,” he grumbled but probably regretted his aggressive tone immediately. “I’m sorry, I just feel so fucking useless.”

After some hesitation, she turned to face him. “Eren, it’s perfectly fine, if you’re angry-,” she started, but he cut her off.

“I’M NOT ANGRY!”

“Are you not?” She raised a brow.

He took a sharp breath. “Okay, I might be a bit angry, but that’s not it. I’m sad, I’m disappointed, and I feel completely helpless. I feel like a fucking idiot. I can’t believe he left. I can’t believe he made him leave! I can’t believe he told him to leave and he actually left. Just like that, he left everything behind; his work, his family, his friends. He left his whole life behind just because he told him to.” He turned to her suddenly, his dark green eyes wide and desperate.

“I don’t think he had a choice,” she shook her head slightly, not breaking eye contact for a second.

He grunted. “One always has a choice. He could have opposed Smith, he just didn’t have the courage to do so. Fucking coward.” He sounded like a sulking child.

Mikasa had no idea what to say to calm him down. She looked at his left hand again, squeezing the edge of the mattress the same anxious way hers did just a couple of minutes ago. She looked up at his face and could think of no words that could have comforted him at the moment. She inhaled sharply and reached out to wrap her hand around his, her eyes fixed on his face, waiting for his reaction.

At first the boy seemed a bit surprised, but then his gaze softened. Anger seemed to disappear form his eyes, leaving behind nothing else but sadness. He pressed his lips together and swallowed some tears, looking at her like a lost puppy.

She turned to him with her whole body and reached out to put an arm around him, but by the time her hand touched his back he already embraced her, his fists clenching around the soft material of her shirt, pulling her closer. He buried his face in her neck so that she could feel his wet eyelashes touching her skin slightly. She slowly wrapped both arms around him, gently stroking the back of his neck.

“It’s fine, it’s going to be fine,” she kept whispering in his ear, while internally, she was trying to convince herself about the same.

_Nowadays_

Mikasa was standing in front of the door of Eren’s office with a tight chest. She was staring at her right hand, slightly shaking, hovering over the golden doorknob, and wished she had just stayed at home. She lied to herself that she had already made progress in getting over Eren and the things that had happened between them in the past few weeks, and she didn’t want to re-open her wounds.

Subconsciously, she knew that the wounds were still open. So, her subconscious convinced her conscious that it would be a great idea to accept the boy’s invitation and talk to him for the first time since they were in the basement. But her conscious wasn’t sure if she was ready for that. Her conscious was afraid she might say or do something that her conscious and subconscious would equally regret later. The options included both murdering the boy in cold blood and begging him to come back to Eldia and stay with her. The latter made her incredibly angry, as she was still trying to convince herself that she wasn’t that pathetically weak teenager anymore who would have done anything to be with him.

So, she really wanted to talk to Eren, but the last thing she wanted was to talk to Eren. She took a final deep breath and entered the spacious room with forced calmness on her face.

Eren was sitting behind a huge mahogany desk, focusing on a notebook in front of him. He looked incredibly out of place in that office. He looked like a little boy sitting at his father’s desk in his father’s office, pretending he was him. “Mikasa, hey, I’m glad you could finally make it.” He jumped up as he saw her and gestured toward one of the red velvet chairs across from his desk.

“I would have come earlier, but I couldn’t walk,” she said silently and took a seat. “I’m sorry I made you wait.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I- I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I mean I was thinking about visiting you, but I didn’t know how you would react. I figured you didn’t want to see me.”

She was looking at him with all fake calmness in the world in her eyes. “Well, I’m seeing you now.”

“Yes.” The boy swallowed. He closed his notebook and was staring down a few moments before he looked up at her again. “So, how are you feeling?”

“Marvelous,” she wanted to say with an eyeroll, but swallowed the sarcastic comment and forced a weak smile on her face. “I’m much better, thank you. What about you?”

“I’m good, I’m getting by here,” he nodded. “I still need a lot of help with the company, but I’m trying to learn everything as fast as possible. I don’t really feel like a boss though – not a Zeke or Smith type of boss anyway. But I guess that’s a good thing.”

“M-hm.” She gave up trying to hold herself back. She realized she didn’t really have a reason to bite her tongue. “Don’t you think the way you get rid of them was a big step towards their management style?”

“That was Hange’s idea,” he shook his head and looked down at his notebook again. “I’m not smart enough to come up with such a plan, you know that.”

“Yes, I do,” she agreed.

“Mikasa-,” he started, but she cut him short.

It was finally her time to speak. “Why did you do it? I mean, I get you wanted vengeance. Erwin was a horrible person, and Zeke seemed to be no different, but he was your brother. He was – as you would put it – your real family.”

“He killed our dad,” he raised his voice a bit. “He didn’t give a shit about family. All he cared about was power. I tell you he wanted to conquer the whole fucking world with that crazy zombie army. He was a lunatic.”

“Yeah, that kind of runs in the family,” she thought but regained enough self-control not to say it out loud. “So, what are you going to do with your life now that you’re not obsessed with your father’s unfair life and death anymore?”

He kept avoiding her gaze. “Actually, I want to continue what he started here before Zeke took over. Currently, my main aim is to establish a healthy business relationship with the neighboring cities, including Eldia. I would like to believe that I did a kind of okay job with Levi and your company, but I wanted to talk to you as well. That’s why I invited you here, I wanted to make sure there are no hard feelings between us.”

“So, you’re planning to stay in Marley,” she concentrated on the single piece of information that she was interested in.

“Yes,” he nodded. “I hope it’s alright with you.”

“Of course, it is,” she frowned. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Well, honestly, I figured you kind of wanted to … stay with me? When I was staying with you in Elida, I kind of had the feeling… You know, I mean, like…”

She sighed. His stuttering and the fact that he seemingly still didn’t have a single clue about how she might feel really pissed her off. She took a deep breath and collected her thoughts so that she can explain him everything he should have already known.

“Look, Eren,” she started as patiently as she could. “By the time I was adopted by your parents I lost all hope for a normal family. My father disappeared, my mother was dead, and my brother was in no condition to be able to take care of me. He could barely take care of himself. So, the time I spent with your family were easily the happiest years of my life. I got over the loss of my parents as much as I could. I loved your mom and dad, and I felt that they loved me, but then I lost them as well. I loved you, and I thought you might also love me, but soon you left me too.”

“Mikasa-,” he said, but she ignored him and kept going.

“So, I was alone. Again. It was terrible, and it hurt like hell, but I got over it. Again. It took me years, but I was fine. Again. AND THEN YOU CAME BACK. You appeared out of nowhere and asked for my help. And I – as I’m the greatest moron in the universe – helped you,” she lost all control over her voice.

“And I’m grateful for that-,” he tried to interrupt her again, but she cut him off. There was no way he wouldn’t hear her out just this one time.

“You came back, used to me to execute your secret plan with Hange, kept me in the dark the whole time, and then you left me. Again. This time with a shot wound on my thigh.” She paused so that she could calm her voice again. “So, Eren, before you answer my question, I want you to at least try to think things through from my perspective just once. Do you really think that I want to stay with you right now?”

Eren was looking at her like one looks at a dangerous wild animal. “Look, Mikasa, I get that you’re angry with me, and you have every right to feel like that.”

Mikasa stared at him, trying to stop her eye from twitching. “Thank you.”

“I just want to tell you I’m very sorry. I had no idea that Reiner and Annie would follow us to the basement. I clearly told them not to. And I didn’t want to leave you there, I swear, but she knocked me out.”

“Okay, I’ll stop you right there.” She raised a hand. “Do you really think that the biggest problem with this WHOLE FUCKING STORY was you not being able to protect me from your friends in the basement?”

“Well, I wouldn’t really call them friends-,” he started but, stopped and swallowed as he saw the expression on her face. He lowered his gaze again and gave himself some more time to consider his answer. “I’m definitely sorry about that, yes,” he said carefully.

“Alright,” she nodded and kept staring at him in silence.

“I-I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you the truth about my plans,” he kept talking, hesitantly. “I’m sorry.”

She was looking at him and wondered if he would ever find the courage to look up at her again.

“I’m sorry for leaving you, coming back, lying about why I came back, and then leaving you again,” he added, almost whispering, his eyes fixed on the corner of a piece of paper he was picking at.

She stared at him, pressing her lips together. At that moment, she suddenly really wanted to say “It’s okay” and hug him, and that urge made her very angry. She couldn’t believe she was still so pathetically soft for the boy. She swallowed and stood up. “Great,” she nodded and turned her back on him. She decided it’s was high time to leave.

“Mikasa, wait.” He finally jerked his head up. “Are you going already?”

She didn’t turn back to him. “I would like to, yes.”

“No wait!” He went around the table. “Aren’t you going to say something? I mean I really want you to forgive me. Please! As I said, I don’t want any hard feelings between us. That’s important for me. YOU are important for me.”

One last time, she toyed with the idea of shooting the boy on the leg. She took a deep breath and gathered all self-control she could find in herself. “Oh, don’t worry,” she shook her head. “There’s absolutely nothing between us anymore. Neither hard, nor any other kind of feelings.”


End file.
